Co-Sleeping Children, Parents? Is It Correct?

There are a quite a number of views on keeping the infants with the parents when the infant is about to sleep or is sleeping.


There is really a new word, which for this,of which I was unaware,(I think for  most of the Asians, especially Indian‘s as well), ‘Co-Sleeping‘.


In our Homes , till about ten years back, we never had separate bed rooms.


That was when our grown up wanted a room .


Till then right from my childhood I never slept alone in our Home , nor any one else in the Family.


This was not peculiar to our Home.


Indians used to sleep that way.


Another interesting fact is that we Indians used to live in Joint Families.


Here Joint Family means Living together with one’s Uncles(paternal, and Cousins under the same roof.


One’s belongings like shirts,Chappals,Shoes were every ones.


People used whatever was available.


Cooking was done in the common kitchen and the Firer in the kitchen never got  doused till about midnight.


None felt the absence of their parents nor did they feel left out or ignored.


Every one’s needs were met.


Those were the times  when emotional cushion was the best.


Some one can be chosen by you to communicate. depending on your need and problems.


Thus an Adolescent can discuss any thing from Drinking to Sex with Uncles and Cousins without  fear or reservations.


Now. as the Tamil Humorist Crazy Moan put it. husband and wife living together is joint family!


Views on the infants sleeping with their parents(parents with Infants) are quite hot on the Internet.


The emotional bonding, the physical proximity,and physical touch between the parents and children up to Ten-years has a lot to do with the security feeling of the children in their adolescent and even in adult stages.

The reasons quoted about the inconvenience to parents , to me, looks , childish.


If one wants to have a stable adult, more than any thing, physical proximity is important.


Well there are always exceptions, including the pervert parents who abuse the children.


Keep the children away from them.(this has to be done by the others, like parents of the couple).


(There are some Marwari/Gujarati Families who follow the traditional Joint Family System in India).



Based on my own experiences, I’ve created a short list of the top threats that older babies and toddlers pose to their parents in a co-sleeping environment. I’m sure there are millions more, so feel free to add your own dangers in the comment section below. Together, we must create awareness!…

1. The midnight caller. Parents should be warned against bringing any kind of cellular device into bed with them or within a toddler’s reach. Unless, of course, you don’t mind being bludgeoned in the head with your cell phone before dawn.

2. Eye love you, daddy! So much so, that little Johnny is going to take that cute little finger of his and jab it right through your sleepy eyelid! I would imagine this is why God gave us two.

3. The toddler chokehold. They may be little, but they are mighty. Be aware of your little one’s sleeping position at all times. One minute they’re lovingly sleeping in the crook of your arm, and the next, they’re lying sideways across your throat cutting off life sustaining oxygen to your brain.

4. The fish hook. I’m sure that to a toddler, the two black holes in mommy’s nose may seem like a magnificent curiosity, but to a mom, there is nothing curious about being jarred awake by your child trying to dig your brains out through your nostril.

5. The bitch slap. A more common threat to parents worldwide, this danger is more likely to occur during the morning hours. The bitch slap may be a rude awakening to the parent of an impatiently hungry toddler who wants their damn cheerios right now.


  • encourages breastfeeding by making nighttime breastfeeding more convenient
  • makes it easier for a nursing mother to get her sleep cycle in sync with her baby’s
  • helps babies fall asleep more easily, especially during their first few months and when they wake up in the middle of the night
  • helps babies get more nighttime sleep (because they awaken more frequently with shorter duration of feeds, which can add up to a greater amount of sleep throughout the night)
  • helps parents who are separated from their babies during the day regain the closeness with their infant that they feel they missed.

Psychologist Thomas Ollendick of Virginia Tech University is currently researching whether co-sleeping is associated with lower rates of nighttime fear.

In the meantime–whether your child sleeps alone or with family members–one thing seems clear. Nighttime fears and separation anxiety should be taken seriously.

Although the kids in the Australian study were selected from the general population (as opposed to a psychiatric practice or sleep clinic), researchers discovered that about 10% of children complaining of nighttime fears fit the criteria for an anxiety disorder.

Other research suggests strong links between anxiety and bad dreams.

A recent study of toddlers and preschoolers reports that 17-month old kids who were rated by their mothers as anxious, difficult, or emotionally disturbed were more likely than other children to have bad dreams at 29 months (Simard et al 2008).


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13 month old chews off Snake’s Head!

Pure reflex , unsullied by Fear!

Thirteen-month-old Imad Aleeyan, who has six teeth, was found chewing on the head of the 12 inch snake by his mother, who alerted the neighbourhood with her screams.

“I was making his milk and I looked over and saw he had a snake in his mouth,” said his mother, Ghadir Aleeyan who lives in the Arab Israelitown of Shefa’Amr, 9 miles east of the port city of Haifa.

“I started to scream. I couldn’t believe my eyes,” she told AFP. “I nearly died of fright.”

Her screams brought the rest of the family – and the neighbourhood – running.

“We rushed in and found the baby with a snake in his mouth, chewing it. It was really scary, just horrible,” the boy’s aunt, Yasmin Shahin, said.

A neighbour who had rushed to see what was going on yanked the half-dead reptile out of the boys mouth and killed it, she said.

“When he pulled it out, Imad started crying,” she said, describing the snake’s head as “very badly chewed” when it emerged from the boys mouth.

They immediately checked the child for any bite marks but found none, with doctors at Rambam hospital in Haifa confirming he was unharmed.

“Doctors at the hospital told us the snake was really poisonous but that we were very lucky because they release less venom in the winter,” she said.

Dr Boaz Shacham, an expert on amphibians and reptiles, told AFP that from looking at images of the smashed-up serpent online, it appeared to be a coin-marked snake (hemorrhois nummifer), a non-venomous species which resembles a viper.

Such snakes grow up to three feet in length, he said suggesting it was a “very young” specimen.

Sharing Mom’s Bed won’t Affect the child.

Children up to the age of ten need the physical touch and nearness of parents.

Children brought up this way are less prone to emotional insecurity.

The practice of allotting a bed room for a child may sound great under the mistaken impression that it develops their independence, when they are not even aware of dependence.

It not only breeds insecurity , the child also becomes distant from the parents once they reach adolescence.

Parents will be regarded as care takers , nothing more.

In Indian Families, till about fifty years back, the concept of a bedroom for any one, including parents was unknown.

Members of the family used to sleep in the ‘Koodam'(hall)

Youngsters had little emotional insecurity and were more affectionate and well-balanced in their approach to life.


At least not after the baby has turned one — the age where sudden infant death syndrome is no longer considered a risk.

“Parents can do what works best for their family and not feel guilty if they choose to bed-share, because there probably aren’t lasting impacts,” said Lauren Hale of Stony Brook University School of Medicine in New York, who led the study.

Experts say bed-sharing is not very common in the U.S., and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends against it until babies are at least one year old.

The main worry with small babies is sudden infant death syndrome, or SIDS, which killed nearly 2,300 children in 2008, according Dr. Fern Hauck of the AAP.

“When they are smaller the concerns are greater for suffocation or for SIDS, and that is why the AAP recommends against bed-sharing,” Hauck, who was not involved in the new work, told Reuters Health.

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