I am sorry.
I have never expressed my appreciation of him, though I am proud of him.
As I near my death, I am running 65 years, I would not like to depart without saying how much I thank him and love him.
Many People often leave the world without thanking those who deserve it.
One of the fundamentals of any religion is gratitude.
Thirukkural says,
எந்நன்றி கொன்றார்க்கும் உய்வுண்டாம் உய்வில்லை
செய்ந்நன்றி கொன்ற மகற்கு.
எந்நன்றி கொன்றார்க்கும் உய்வு உண்டாம் – பெரிய அறங்களைச் சிதைத்தார்க்கும் பாவத்தின் நீங்கும் வாயில் உண்டாம்; செய்ந்நன்றி கொன்ற மகற்கு உய்வு இல்லை – ஒருவன் செய்த நன்றியைச் சிதைத்த மகனுக்கு அஃது இல்லை. (பெரிய அறங்களைச் சிதைத்தலாவது, ஆன்முலை அறுத்தலும், மகளிர் கருவினைச் சிதைத்தலும், பார்ப்பார்த்தப்புதலும் (புறநா.34) முதலிய பாதகங்களைச் செய்தல். இதனால் செய்ந்நன்றி கோறலின் கொடுமை கூறப்பட்டது.).
There is no salvation for those who forget Gratitude.
Here I do not take the meaning of Parimel Azhakar for the word ‘Makarkku’ meaning son, but the meaning people.
Often in Life we do not adequately thank people.
It is a slur on the Soul.
I am not very demonstrative in showing my emotions, even to my children.
I am of the view that love for the others would be felt by those who are loved .
They need not be vocalized.
But I belong to old school where the term Love was not even uttered in relationships and they were/are a part of the Being.
My father was the least emotional Man I have come across.
He would never express himself.
But Psychologists would say repressed emotions might lead to stress.
But my father was never stressed.
When my paternal grandfather died , his body was lying, my father was sitting an as Easy chair displaying no emotion.
I was around 12 or 13 then.
I remember asking him as to why he was not crying as others, he replied if some one would guarantee that his father would come back alive , he would definitely cry!
When my mother died, with whom my father has lived for over 50 years, he just woke me up at the dead of the night, told me’
‘Your mother just died, you go to sleep and we shall see in the morning!
But , after the death of my mother, my father who weighed at 130 Kg.came down to 65 in a matter of six months.
During this period he never spoke a word about my mother.
Probably I belong to those people who never exhibit emotions.
My Daughter in law says that I am the most unromantic person she has ever seen!
Many of my friends say that I am cold.
Excepting to those whom I am close with.
Notwithstanding this, it is time I record my sentiments, though my son would say sentiments are non sense.
But isn’t Life all about all sentiments?
I may not be expressive but I know that sentiments make one live through the Life.
My son is very sensitive and never expresses himself.
He is more rational, according to him.
But behind this veneer I can detect the undercurrent of affection, love.
He is close to the family, that’s all.
And we are close as Friends.
He has been taking responsibility of the Family from the time he was 17.
He never interfered.
He let me do things my way, despite some objections by him,
He has made my retired life pleasant by enabling me do things I wanted to do but could not during my working days.
He never lets me worry about anything.
Doing research in Hinduism.
The comfort he gives me gives me time and vigor to do what I want to do.
I have never appreciated him because I believe, as the Sastras say,never praise your children, point out their faults’
Parenting is not for popularity .
It is for their welfare.
I wish I could have done more for my son.
I could not.
I am sorry.
I have never expressed my appreciation of him, though I am proud of him.
As I near my death, I am running 65 years, I would not like to depart without saying how much I thank him and love him.
Thank you Anand, my son.
Wish I had been as good a Father as you have been /are a son!
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