personal

Thank You My Son


Many People often leave the world without thanking those who deserve it.

One of the fundamentals of any religion is gratitude.

Thirukkural says,

எந்நன்றி கொன்றார்க்கும் உய்வுண்டாம் உய்வில்லை
செய்ந்நன்றி கொன்ற மகற்கு.

எந்நன்றி கொன்றார்க்கும் உய்வு உண்டாம் – பெரிய அறங்களைச் சிதைத்தார்க்கும் பாவத்தின் நீங்கும் வாயில் உண்டாம்; செய்ந்நன்றி கொன்ற மகற்கு உய்வு இல்லை – ஒருவன் செய்த நன்றியைச் சிதைத்த மகனுக்கு அஃது இல்லை. (பெரிய அறங்களைச் சிதைத்தலாவது, ஆன்முலை அறுத்தலும், மகளிர் கருவினைச் சிதைத்தலும், பார்ப்பார்த்தப்புதலும் (புறநா.34) முதலிய பாதகங்களைச் செய்தல். இதனால் செய்ந்நன்றி கோறலின் கொடுமை கூறப்பட்டது.).

There is no salvation for those who forget  Gratitude.

Here I do not take the meaning of Parimel Azhakar for the word ‘Makarkku’ meaning son, but the meaning people.

Often in Life we do not adequately thank people.

It is a slur on the Soul.

I am not very demonstrative in showing my emotions, even to my children.

I am of the view that love for the others would be felt by those who are loved .

They need not be vocalized.

But I belong to old school where the term Love was not even uttered in relationships and they were/are a part of the Being.

My father was the least emotional Man I have come across.

He would never express himself.

But Psychologists would say repressed emotions might lead to stress.

But my father was never stressed.

When my paternal grandfather died , his body was lying, my father was sitting an as Easy chair displaying no emotion.

I was around 12 or 13 then.

I remember asking him as to why he was not crying as others, he  replied if some one would guarantee that his father would come back alive , he would definitely cry!

When my mother died, with whom my father has lived for over 50 years, he just woke me up at the dead of the night, told me’

‘Your mother just died, you go to sleep and we shall see in the morning!

But , after the death of my mother, my father who weighed at 130 Kg.came down to 65 in a matter of six months.

During this period he  never spoke a word about my mother.

Probably I belong to those people who never exhibit emotions.

My Daughter in law says that I am the most  unromantic person she has ever seen!

Many of my friends say that I am cold.

Excepting to those whom I am close with.

Notwithstanding this, it is time I record my sentiments, though my son would say sentiments are non sense.

But isn’t Life all about all sentiments?

I may not be expressive but I know that sentiments make one live through the Life.

My son is very sensitive and never expresses himself.

He is more rational, according to him.

But behind this veneer I can detect the undercurrent of affection, love.

He is close to the family, that’s all.

And we are close as Friends.

He has been  taking responsibility of the Family from the time he was 17.

He never interfered.

He let me do things my way, despite some objections by him,

He has made my retired life pleasant by enabling me do things I wanted to do but could not during my working days.

He never lets me worry about anything.

Doing research in Hinduism.

The comfort he gives me gives me time and vigor to do what I want to do.

I have never appreciated him because I believe, as the Sastras say,never praise your children, point out their faults’

Parenting is not for popularity .

It is for their welfare.

I wish I could have done more for my son.

I could not.

I am sorry.

I have never expressed my appreciation of him, though I am proud of him.

As I near my death, I am running 65 years, I would not like to depart without saying how much I thank him and love him.

Thank you Anand, my son.

Wish I had been as good a Father as you have been /are a son!

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Tamils

Why Love Happens Tamil Answers


Recently I came across a question in a Facebook Community.

‘Why does Love happen’?

People may brush it aside as silly but it needs an answer.

Lovers Portrayed ina temple in Tamil Nadu.jpg

Lovers Portrayed ina temple in Tamil Nadu

I did not see any relevant answer to the question.

In life we see people falling in Love, some of them,if succesful’ lead a Happy married Life

Even among those successful in getting married, the unhappiness  after marriage rate is high.

I am speaking of Love and not what is now portrayed as a convenient arrangement for  one’ security.

Now I find whether it be a boy or a Girl,  contrary to what many think, do not fall in Love without deliberation.

They check the financial position, the responsibilities one has to bear and decide to fall in Love.

In my opinion this is not Love.

This is a deliberate arrangement to ensure smooth Life, whether that myth remains through out Life is another matter.

Love is a passion that surges forward at a specific point for no known reason.

Shakespeare put it,

‘Whoever loved that loved not at first sight’

How and why does this Love happen?

I checked Tamil literature for Tamil classical literature is a reflection of ancient Tamil life and offers solution to any aspect of Life.

Tamil language has a separate grammar called Kalaviyal, they have treated Life as a part of language evolution.

While marriage as an institution was  given its due, Tamils were practical in assigning a place for love and have laid certain rules for Love!

This is Called Kalaviyal,களவியல்,  Kalavu,one of its meaning, is on the Sly.

I shall be posting on this later.

What does Tamil say on Love happening?

Tamil acknowledges that neither marital status nor finanicial one has anything to do with it.

It happens to all at any age.

The value judgement on this is a different matter,

There are rules even for this.

The first available book on Tamil Grammar says thus,

 

““ஒன்றே வேறே என்றிருபால் வயின்
ஒன்றி யுயர்ந்த பால தாணையின்
ஒத்த கிழவனும் கிழத்தியும் காண்ப
மிக்கோ னாயினும் கடிவரை யின்றே” (களவியல் – 2)’ Tolkaapiyam.

Love between a Man and a woman happens because of…’Fate”

Note that Tolkaapiyam is careful in saying ‘between Aman and woman,implying that there were other relationships as well.

I tend to agree that Love, Marriage, Children and Profession is the handiwork of Fate, our protestations notwithstanding.

Sanatan Dharam says much the same.

 

 

 

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images

Values Still Alive Photo Essay


One is sick of

 

Nations invading others on false pretext

 

Of Terrorism

 

Of Religious Fanaticism

 

Of Corruption

 

Of Betrayals,

 

Fratricide,Matricide,Infanticide,Patricide,,Homicide,

 

Of Greed and Corruption,

 

Of Pedophiles,

 

Of wheeling and dealing,

 

Of irresponsible parents,

 

Of  insensitive children,

 

One loses faith In Humanity and Human values,

 

But,

 

A Muslim gives away his shoe to the needy and walks barefooted,Image.jpg.

A Muslim gives away his shoe to the needy and walks barefooted

Kindness from strangers.Image.jpg.

Kindness from strangers.

 

Kindness In Train b a Stranger.Image.jpg.

Kindness In Train b a Stranger.

Carolers assemble for a Child with Leukemia.Image,jpg.

Carolers assemble for a Child with Leukemia.

Love.Thanks for treating His dog. .image.jpg.

Love.Boy Thanks for treating His dog.

 

Source.

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2F26Bf/YRKoEdwm:CCZ0.nu9/slightlywarped.com/crapfactory/curiosities/2014/june/faith_in_humanity_restored_again.htm

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Parenting, Tamils

The Courtyard Of Moon


 

Moon is used in world literature as an allusion,allegory simile to express various emotions.

Courtyard of Moon.

Moon Shining Courtyard of Moon.

The practice of using the concept Moon as a part of Life goes to the Tamils.

There is no Poet who has not sung about Moon right from the Classical  Age of the Sangam till the present day.

It is also the part of Indian life to show Moon and feed the child.

Usually a song is sung inviting The Moon to play with the child.

This has been such an expected custom that a special grammar has been created to accommodate this activity.

In Pillai Thamizh, The Tamil of The child, various stages of the child’s growth has been explained and suitable songs were sung.

Those who know Tamil, enjoy this song, Thiuvoimozhi of Periyazhvar sung in praise of Lord Krishna asking Him to sleep while making Him sleep in a Cradle.

The celebration of the Moon is not restricted children.

Moon is used to express Love,Pangs of separation and even pathos.

I am proving some songs towards the close of the Post.

It is the practice, as the child grows up, to have the family sit around in the Pial( a reclining slab at the entrance of the House) have the food made into  a Ball , place in the Palm of the family members.

This is/was widely practiced.

I used it to do this for my children till they were in the Ninth or tenth standard.

The taste and the camaraderie one feels as a Unit is incomparable.

Children eat more than what they usually consume.

Tamils have taken this a step further,

In ancient days, Homes had a special area built, normally in the first floor and the Kings used to build a Floor for this purpose , enjoy the Moon and take food.

This place is called the Courtyard of Moon.’Nila Mutram’.

There is also the practice of eating under the Moon with the family on the Full Moon Day of the Chaitra,Chiththitrai Month , The Full Moon Day of April.

Special festival is celebrated on this day and this is special in Madurai, Chitra Pournami

Such simple pleasures do not cost you nor do they harm children.

We seem to be losing them.

Some Old movie songs on Moon.

 

 

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relationships

Marriage Is For You


I received an email from WordPress informing me of a WordPress.com site becoming viral, with over 26 Million views ans the site had even crashed unable to handle such a heavy traffic.

This is the message.

On November 2, 2013, Seth Smith hit publish on an article entitled Marriage Isn’t For You. Within a few hours, his self-hosted WordPress site couldn’t handle the tens of thousands of visitors reading the post. He moved his article and then his entire site over to WordPress.com, where the WordPress.com team did some additional tweaks to keep his site up and ready for the ten million visitors who would end up visiting his site in a single day. The article has since received 26 million total views. We talked to Seth about going viral on WordPress.com.”

I read the post, found it interesting.

The gist is that Love is not about what you get  when you love some one,

It is the happiness that you bring or impart to that person.

So, in that sense Love and Marriage is not for you.

Though the logic seems to be good ,there seems to be a slight difference in analysing Relationship.

The article says that marriage is for raising a family .

True.

But you do not divest your interest in raising your Family.

You too are interested in a Relationship for you expect it to bring you happiness

You do things because you expect them to bring you happiness or at least that which does not bring you grief.

It is human Nature to be happy and seek happiness through gratification.

This may be physical ,emotional,mental,spiritual or all these combined.

Though sounds cynical it is a fact there is no such Love as an Altruistic one.

The trick is to balance your happiness and other’s happiness and ensure that you get more happiness out of other’s happiness.

Sounds easy, but is not.

But practice shall make it easier and it would become a routine.

PS. Do not confuse this with Hypocrisy.

As happiness is what every one seeks Marriage, with all its warts, is for everyone..

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