Relationships, How Far? 

There is no necessity of being deliberate or planning on interacting with them. 
That is what family is all about. 
Over thinking about relationships and communication skills, in my opinion, stunts the warmth of the relationship, though the words might be not too soft. 

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There are volumes and volumes written on relationships these days.

Many might think I am old fashioned, might be true, but we have taken to relationships naturally.

It was not deliberate.

We had, at least I have, two levels.

One is family, friends and those who are close, the last mentioned need not be relatives, in fact it is not..

The others are, well, just others.

With the first category,  I do not think before I interact and express myself spontaneously without thinking or second guessing what the reaction or reply would be.

No doubt, this leads to arguments especially in the family.

But I do not carry it forward for the next second and I resume my talk after a heated exchange normally.

In my opinion, you let your hair down and be natural with whom you love.

There is no necessity of being deliberate or planning while interacting with them.

That is what family is all about.

Over thinking about relationships and communication skills, in my opinion, stunts the warmth of the relationship, though the words might be not too soft.

The deliberation involved in communication between family members and close friends spoils the Bond and people become strangers.

In my view that is not relationship.

We are natural and outspoken with whom we love and the love is felt, not known.

That’s it.

Yet how far relationship can go?

When you die,

Relatives upto to your Home,

Your wife is upto to the end of the street where you live,

(Indian custom),

Your son(who is expected to perform your last Rites), is upto the Crematorium, Grave.

But the effects, results of your actions, Karma will be with you far beyond.

This was beautifully expressed in a Tamil film song penned by the great poet Kannadasan.

‘வீடு வரை உறவு,

வீதி வரை மனைவி,

காடு வரை பிள்ளை,

கடைசி வரை யாரோ,

I have provided the meaning, after the line

‘ when you die’

in the beginning of this article.

Kannadasan ends the line as ‘who shall be till the Last’

This thought is from Pattinathar a Yogi from Tamil Nadu who composed quite a few of the most profound Poems on Life, Shiva and Bhakti.

I am providing the lunes from Pattinathar below.

Pattinathar concludes as Results of actions, benevolent and not benevolent, Paap and Punya shall follow you till the last.
அந்தமும் வாழ்வும் அகத்து மட்டேவிழி அம்பொழுக மெத்திய மாதரும் வீதி மட்டே

விம்மி விம்மி இரு கை தலை மேல் வைத்து அழும் மைந்தரும் சுடுகாடு மட்டே

பற்றித் தொடரும் இரு வினை புண்ணியம் பாவமுமே.
andhamum vAzhvum agathu matte

vizhi ambozhuga methiya mAdharum veedhi matte

vimmi vimmi iru kai thalai mel vaithu azhum maindharum sudukAdu matte

patrith thodarum iru vinai punniyam pAvamume

How To Control Husbands Draupadi to Satyabhama

Men and women being complimentary to one another,these issues are not really worth losing sleep over.
However the eternal question of women’s freedom needs to be addressed to.


As human beings, we try to take advantage of others,though we may deny it.
This trait is inbuilt as a tool for survival.
This trait does not exclude any relationship,father,mother,children,spouse and friends.
This does not exclude the differnciation between male and female.

image

The process of taking advantage of others involves manipulation and control of others.
This happens every where, in all relationships.
When this is noticed between a husband and wife, charges like being controlled by wife or by husband it assumes unwarranted issues ,like the observation that men control women and women’s freedom is in danger.
(When a man becomes hen pecked, there are no comments)

I checked Mahabharata,greatest treatise ob human relaionships as what ought to be and what is,for information.
When Sathyabhama,a wife of Krishna meets Draupadi,wife of the Pandavas, this issue is addressed.
On being asked by Sathyabhama how to control her husband Krishna Draupai replies thus,
,

SECTION CCXXXI
(Draupadi-Satyabhama Samvada)
Vaisampayana said, “After those Brahmanas and the illustrious sons of Pandu had taken their seats, Draupadi and Satyabhama entered the hermitage. And with hearts full of joy the two ladies laughed merrily and seated themselves at their ease. And, O king, those ladies, who always spake sweetly to each other, having met after a long time, began to talk upon various delightful topics arising out of the stories of the Kurus and the Yadus. And the slender-waisted Satyabhama, the favourite wife of Krishna and the daughter of Satrajit, then asked Draupadi in private, saying, ‘By what behaviour is it, O daughter of Drupada, that thou art able to rule the sons of Pandu–those heroes endued with strength and beauty and like unto the Lokapalas themselves? Beautiful lady, how is it that they are so obedient to thee and are never angry with thee? Without doubt the sons of Pandu, O thou of lovely features, are ever submissive to thee and watchful to do thy bidding!

[paragraph continues] Tell me, O lady, the reason of this. Is it practice of vows, or asceticism, or incantation or drug at the time of the bath (in season) or the efficacy of science, or the influence of youthful appearance, or the recitation of particular formulae, or Homa, or collyrium and other medicaments? Tell me now, O princess of Panchala, of that blessed and auspicious thing by which, O Krishna, Krishna may ever be obedient to me.”
“When the celebrated Satyabhama, having said this, ceased, the chaste and blessed daughter of Drupada answered her, saying, ‘Thou askedest me, O Satyabhama, of the practices of women that are wicked. How can I answer thee, O lady, about the cause that is pursued by wicked females? It doth not become thee, lady, to pursue the questions, or doubt me, after this, for thou art endued with intelligence and art the favourite wife of Krishna. When the husband learns that his wife is addicted to incantations and drugs, from that hour he beginneth to dread her like a serpent ensconced in his sleeping chamber. And can a man that is troubled with fear have peace, and how can one that hath no peace have happiness? A husband can never be made obedient by his wife’s incantations. We hear of painful diseases being transmitted by enemies. Indeed, they that desire to slay others, send poison in the shape of customary gifts, so that the man that taketh the powders so sent, by tongue or skin, is, without doubt, speedily deprived of life. Women have sometimes caused dropsy and leprosy, decrepitude and impotence and idiocy and blindness and deafness in men. These wicked women, ever treading in the path of sin, do sometimes (by these means) injure their husbands. But the wife should never do the least injury to her lord. Hear now, O illustrious lady, of the behaviour I adopt towards the high-souled sons of Pandu. Keeping aside vanity, and controlling desire and wrath, I always serve with devotion the sons of Pandu with their wives. Restraining jealousy, with deep devotion of heart, without a sense of degradation at the services I perform, I wait upon my husbands. Ever fearing to utter what is evil or false, or to look or sit or walk with impropriety, or cast glances indicative of the feelings of the heart, do I serve the sons of Pritha–those mighty warriors blazing like the sun or fire, and handsome as the moon, those endued with fierce energy and prowess, and capable of slaying their foes by a glance of the eye. Celestial, or man, or Gandharva, young or decked with ornaments, wealthy or comely of person, none else my heart liketh. I never bathe or eat or sleep till he that is my husband hath bathed or eaten or slept,–till, in fact, our attendants have bathed, eaten, or slept. Whether returning from the field, the forest, or the town, hastily rising up I always salute my husband with water and a seat. I always keep the house and all household articles and the food that is to be taken well-ordered and clean. Carefully do I keep the rice, and serve the food at the proper time. I never indulge in angry and fretful speech, and never imitate women that are wicked. Keeping idleness at distance I always do what is agreeable. I never laugh except at a jest, and never stay for any length of time at the house-gate. I never stay long in places for answering calls of nature, nor in pleasure-gardens attached to the house. I always refrain from laughing loudly and indulging in high passion, and

from everything that may give offence. Indeed, O Satyabhama, I always am engaged in waiting upon my lords. A separation from my lords is never agreeable to me. When my husband leaveth home for the sake of any relative, then renouncing flowers and fragrant paste of every kind, I begin to undergo penances. Whatever my husband drinketh not, whatever my husband eateth not, whatever my husband enjoyeth not, I ever renounce. O beautiful lady, decked in ornaments and ever controlled by the instruction imparted to me, I always devotedly seek the good of my lord. Those duties that my mother-in-law had told me of in respect of relatives, as also the duties of alms-giving, of offering worship to the gods, of oblations to the diseased, of boiling food in pots on auspicious days for offer to ancestors and guests of reverence and service to those that deserve our regards, and all else that is known to me, I always discharge day and night, without idleness of any kind. Having with my whole heart recourse to humility and approved rules I serve my meek and truthful lords ever observant of virtue, regarding them as poisonous snakes capable of being excited at a trifle. I think that to be eternal virtue for women which is based upon a regard for the husband. The husband is the wife’s god, and he is her refuge. Indeed, there is no other refuge for her. How can, then, the wife do the least injury to her lord? I never, in sleeping or eating or adorning any person, act against the wishes of my lord, and always guided by my husbands, I never speak ill of my mother-in-law. O blessed lady, my husbands have become obedient to me in consequence of my diligence, my alacrity, and the humility with which I serve superiors. Personally do I wait every day with food and drink and clothes upon the revered and truthful Kunti–that mother of heroes. Never do I show any preference for myself over her in matters of food and attire, and never do I reprove in words that princess equal unto the Earth herself in forgiveness. Formerly, eight thousand Brahmanas were daily fed in the palace of Yudhishthira from off plates of gold. And eighty thousand Brahmanas also of the Snataka sect leading domestic lives were entertained by Yudhishthira with thirty serving-maids assigned to each. Besides these, ten thousand yatis with the vital seed drawn up, had their pure food carried unto them in plates of gold. All these Brahamanas that were the utterers of the Veda, I used to worship duly with food, drink, and raiment taken from stores only after a portion thereof had been dedicated to the Viswadeva. 1 The illustrious son of Kunti had a hundred thousand well-dressed serving-maids with bracelets on arms and golden ornaments on necks, and decked with costly garlands and wreaths and gold in profusion, and sprinkled with sandal paste. And adorned with jewels and gold they were all skilled in singing and dancing. O lady, I knew the names and features of all those girls, as also what they are and what they were, and what they did not. Kunti’s son of great intelligence
had also a hundred thousand maid-servants who daily used to feed guests, with plates of gold in their hands. And while Yudhishthira lived in Indraprastha a hundred thousand horses and a hundred thousand elephants used to follow in his train. These were the possessions of Yudhisthira while he ruled the earth. It was I however, O lady, who regulated their number and framed the rules to be observed in respect of them; and it was I who had to listen to all complaints about them. Indeed, I knew everything about what the maid-servants of the palace and other classes of attendants, even the cow-herds and the shepherds of the royal establishment, did or did not. O blessed and illustrious lady, it was I alone amongst the Pandavas who knew the income and expenditure of the king and what their whole wealth was. And those bulls among the Bharatas, throwing upon me the burden of looking after all those that were to be fed by them, would, O thou of handsome face, pay their court to me. And this load, so heavy and incapable of being borne by persons of evil heart, I used to bear day and night, sacrificing my ease, and all the while affectionately devoted to them. And while my husbands were engaged in the pursuit of virtue, I only supervised their treasury inexhaustible like the ever-filled receptacle of Varuna. Day and night bearing hunger and thirst, I used to serve the Kuru princes, so that my nights and days were equal to me. I used to wake up first and go to bed last. This, O Satyabhama, hath ever been my charm for making my husbands obedient to me! This great art hath ever been known to me for making my husbands obedient to me. Never have I practised the charms of wicked women, nor do I ever wish to practise them.”
Vaisampayana continued, “Hearing those words of virtuous import uttered by Krishna, Satyabhama, having first reverenced the virtuous princess of Panchala, answered saying, ‘O princess of Panchala, I have been guilty, O daughter of Yajnasena, forgive me! Among friends, conversations in jest arise naturally, and without premeditation.”
In essence if one serves another even to take advantage later, this helps one to take control over the other.

In the process no body loses but the ego.

I have observed that women who, in the eyes of outsiders, is bossed over and controlled by her husband is really the Boss and controls the husband and the husband knows it.

Family decisions are taken, though they may appear to be taken by the Husband, is realyy by the wife
Mahabharata Translation Citation . from Sacred Texts.com

Draupadi Sathyabhama discussion

Thank You My Son

I am sorry.

I have never expressed my appreciation of him, though I am proud of him.

As I near my death, I am running 65 years, I would not like to depart without saying how much I thank him and love him.


Many People often leave the world without thanking those who deserve it.

One of the fundamentals of any religion is gratitude.

Thirukkural says,

எந்நன்றி கொன்றார்க்கும் உய்வுண்டாம் உய்வில்லை
செய்ந்நன்றி கொன்ற மகற்கு.

எந்நன்றி கொன்றார்க்கும் உய்வு உண்டாம் – பெரிய அறங்களைச் சிதைத்தார்க்கும் பாவத்தின் நீங்கும் வாயில் உண்டாம்; செய்ந்நன்றி கொன்ற மகற்கு உய்வு இல்லை – ஒருவன் செய்த நன்றியைச் சிதைத்த மகனுக்கு அஃது இல்லை. (பெரிய அறங்களைச் சிதைத்தலாவது, ஆன்முலை அறுத்தலும், மகளிர் கருவினைச் சிதைத்தலும், பார்ப்பார்த்தப்புதலும் (புறநா.34) முதலிய பாதகங்களைச் செய்தல். இதனால் செய்ந்நன்றி கோறலின் கொடுமை கூறப்பட்டது.).

There is no salvation for those who forget  Gratitude.

Here I do not take the meaning of Parimel Azhakar for the word ‘Makarkku’ meaning son, but the meaning people.

Often in Life we do not adequately thank people.

It is a slur on the Soul.

I am not very demonstrative in showing my emotions, even to my children.

I am of the view that love for the others would be felt by those who are loved .

They need not be vocalized.

But I belong to old school where the term Love was not even uttered in relationships and they were/are a part of the Being.

My father was the least emotional Man I have come across.

He would never express himself.

But Psychologists would say repressed emotions might lead to stress.

But my father was never stressed.

When my paternal grandfather died , his body was lying, my father was sitting an as Easy chair displaying no emotion.

I was around 12 or 13 then.

I remember asking him as to why he was not crying as others, he  replied if some one would guarantee that his father would come back alive , he would definitely cry!

When my mother died, with whom my father has lived for over 50 years, he just woke me up at the dead of the night, told me’

‘Your mother just died, you go to sleep and we shall see in the morning!

But , after the death of my mother, my father who weighed at 130 Kg.came down to 65 in a matter of six months.

During this period he  never spoke a word about my mother.

Probably I belong to those people who never exhibit emotions.

My Daughter in law says that I am the most  unromantic person she has ever seen!

Many of my friends say that I am cold.

Excepting to those whom I am close with.

Notwithstanding this, it is time I record my sentiments, though my son would say sentiments are non sense.

But isn’t Life all about all sentiments?

I may not be expressive but I know that sentiments make one live through the Life.

My son is very sensitive and never expresses himself.

He is more rational, according to him.

But behind this veneer I can detect the undercurrent of affection, love.

He is close to the family, that’s all.

And we are close as Friends.

He has been  taking responsibility of the Family from the time he was 17.

He never interfered.

He let me do things my way, despite some objections by him,

He has made my retired life pleasant by enabling me do things I wanted to do but could not during my working days.

He never lets me worry about anything.

Doing research in Hinduism.

The comfort he gives me gives me time and vigor to do what I want to do.

I have never appreciated him because I believe, as the Sastras say,never praise your children, point out their faults’

Parenting is not for popularity .

It is for their welfare.

I wish I could have done more for my son.

I could not.

I am sorry.

I have never expressed my appreciation of him, though I am proud of him.

As I near my death, I am running 65 years, I would not like to depart without saying how much I thank him and love him.

Thank you Anand, my son.

Wish I had been as good a Father as you have been /are a son!

12 Kinds Of Sons Puthra Puthri Explanation

I have recently published an article ‘Hinduism on Children and Illegitimate Children”

I mentioned in the Post that the term Puthra denotes Son, Puthra means one who prevents parents entering a hell called ‘Pu or Puth”

I received a valid comment that if that were so, what about Puthri(Daughter)?


I have recently published an article ‘Hinduism on Children and Illegitimate Children”

 

I mentioned in the Post that the term Puthra denotes Son, Puthra means one who prevents parents entering a hell called ‘Pu or Puth”

 

I received a valid  comment that if that were so, what about Puthri(Daughter)?

Sons and daughters.jpg
Sons Daughters

 

The term Puthra has many meanings ; one indicates ‘Deliver”

 

That is one who delivers parents   from Puth.

 

Likewise Puthri has multiple meanings, one being worthy daughter.

 

In the case of a daughter the term Puthri is used in this sense.

 

Now there is some more interesting information on sons in Hinduism

 

There are twelve kinds of sons.

 

They are,

 

1/. Aurasputra.
A son born to a wife of his own caste begot by the husband himself is called aurasputra.

2/. Kshetrajaputra.
If one dies without children or is impotent or possessed of a disease, his wife is lawfully allowed to lie with the brother of the husband to get a child. The son born of such a union is called ksetrajaputra.

3/. Dattaputra.
When one is worrying miserably for getting a son and if at that time a husband and wife willingly hand over a son born to them by mutual consent with the following words :”This son becomes your own from now on,” with a religious sprinkling of water, such a son is called dattaputra.

4/. Kritrimaputra.
A son adopted from one’s own caste for the purpose of doing the obsequial ceremonies for the manes is called kstrimaputra.

5/. Guudhotputra.
A son born to one’s wife by another man is called guudhotputra.

6/. Apaviddhaputra.
Where a son is rejected by either a father or mother or by both and that son is taken care of and brought up by another man, that son becomes an apaviddhaputra.

7/. Kaninaputra.
If a son is born to a virgin before marriage while living with her father, that son is called a kaninaputra.

8/. Sahodhaputra.
When a girl is married while pregnant the son born to her after marriage is called a sahodhaputra.

9/. Krtakaputra.
A son purchased and bought up by a sonless man is called krtakaputra.

10/. Paunarbhavaputra.
A son born to a woman after becoming a widow or after being divorced by her husband by her willingly going with another man is called a paunarbhavaputra.

11/. Swayamdattaputra.
When a son after becoming an orphan or after being abandoned by his parents goes willingly to another man and remains with him as his son is called Swayamdattaputra.

12/. Shaudraputra.
A son born to a brahmin of a shudra wife is called a shaudra (paarashava) putra.

In general, as a rule in this yuga (Kali yuga) only putra conceived into his own wife’s womb by the husband is allowed, and considered putra, as some of the others, due to the low and lusty nature of the qualities of this yuga some or all of these could be abused by unscrupulous men of this age.

 

Citation.

http://www.salagram.net/putra.htm

Choose Brahmin Mates Swayamvara At Chennai

I have lamented the fact that the Brahmin Community is finding it difficult to find suitable Mates .

This problem has become more pronounced now because of various factors.

1.Girl’s parents delaying the marriage.

2.Girls and Boys having imaginary Ideal Girl/Boy and waiting for a Wave length.

3.As the custom of circulating the Horoscope is getting diminished because of shrinking Families and same community friends, the choice becomes

restricted to only Internet, Matrimonial sites.

Though these are effective, the communication conveyed through these sites by the uploaders do not receive possible Brides/Grooms.

And in most of these sites, the educational and salary expectations are so high and unrealistic, one wonders how people with less qualification/Income get married at all.


I have lamented the fact that the Brahmin Community is finding it difficult to find suitable Mates .

 

This problem has become more pronounced now because of various factors.

 

1.Girl’s parents delaying the marriage.

 

2.Girls and Boys having imaginary Ideal Girl/Boy and waiting for a Wave length.

 

3.As the custom of circulating the Horoscope  is getting diminished because of shrinking Families and same community friends, the choice becomes

restricted to  only Internet, Matrimonial sites.

 

Though these are effective, the communication conveyed through these sites by the uploaders  do not receive possible Brides/Grooms.

 

And in most of these sites, the educational and salary expectations are so high and unrealistic, one wonders how people with less qualification/Income get married at all.

 

In the case of Boy’s parents willing to marry a Girl from of a Family of not affluent means, the girl’s parents suspect that there is some thing wrong with the boy,because of , in their perception,unequal alliance.

 

And in may a case, the communication between the parents of the Boys and Girls do not proceed smoothly as person to person communication is much better than Email/Video Chats.

 

I found the following information in Facebook and am sharing it.

 

Marriage proposals at Chennai.
Swayamvara, Chennai

 

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Baby Care Mother Care Online

How does one pay?

One can pay through Credit, Debit Cards,Online Credit,Gift Cards, Internet Banking or Pay Cash On Delivery.

Products are shipped through Popular Couriers .

There are exceptions .

If it is an Incorrect product, replacement is effected.

The order can also be Canceled .

Top Brands are available.


I remember running from pillar to post to buy a Breast Pump when my daughter delivered a Baby.

I had to run around a couple of Stores before getting Confused.

Finally I got the contact from Just Dial to complete the purchase.

Baby are and Mother Online products.
For Baby and the Mother Products Online

In Online purchasing I did not have one Central point where I could get offers and make a comparison.

Starting from Pregnancy, now a days, when people go in for  Health Care products, they are at a loss.

I do not remember any product being bought by parents as a Child, let alone while I was a Baby.

For my children, my purchase was restricted to buying Amulspray Milk Powder, that’s all.

I never knew what a Diaper was till my Grand son came along.

Now as my Grand daughter is One year old, I seem to be finding a lot of things I never heard of.

Babyswipes, Changing mats,Grooming products,Bathing accessories.

For mothers, Pregnancy products,Breast feeding,Pregnancy Clothes,Books on Pregnancy, Baby Care

Then you have Nursery accessories for the Child, Books, Drawing Books, Stationary ..

One needs a lot of time to understand these products , at least for me!

To search for these?

Sometimes I wonder how I have grown without all these and I remain healthy even now.

However, this plethora of products have become necessary in world of competition and consumerism.

People are engaged in full-time occupations, both Husband and wife,for economic security.

They do not have the time and patience to sit through the Baby care.

One touch solution is needed.

So when Human presence in the form of elders are missing, for some reason or another, it is natural one goes for Consumerism, to ease the style of Living.

So one can not fault people going in for these products, though appear to be unnecessary are in fact essential, given the circumstances.

We do have Online sites for buying these products and there are some which offer you a comparison of products and offers.

One such site Online is babyoye.com

Here I found a complete range of Products relating to Pregnancy, pre-delivery and Post delivery.

Babyswipes, Diapers, Disposable,

Books for mothers, Children products, Toys,

Everything one needs for the Mother and the Baby.

You just log in the site and order.

There are no hidden charges, every thing included in the quoted Price.

How does one pay?

One can pay through Credit, Debit Cards,Online Credit,Gift Cards, Internet Banking or Pay Cash On Delivery.

Products are shipped through Popular Couriers .

If it is an Incorrect product, replacement is effected.

There are exceptions .

The order can also be Canceled .

Top Brands are available.

And one gets offers , Sale as well.

Online shopping reliable, swift and seems to be trustworthy.

You may try this.

 http://www.babyoye.com/

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Elder Abuse By Children Facebook Discussion.

It produces the opposite reaction.

You have run the family for nearly 30 t0 40 years and you have taught , or you thought you had taught your children to face Life,.

Why not leave them be?

What could they do?

They might make mistakes. like you and I have mad when we were young, or for that matter even now.

Why not admit that the younger generation may be( in Fact) is more intelligent in handling Life than we did?

Let them run the family the way they want.

If you have brought them up well and proper they would have the basic Morals alright.

That would do.

Not the silly expectation of them coming to you and submitting their account and informing y


Recently I shared a few of my posts on Elderly abuse by their children to Facebook Communities of which I am a member.

This is the Post.

Senior citizen abuse.
Children Leave parents at Old Age Homes

https://ramanan50.wordpress.com/2013/10/02/parents-in-elderly-home-children-to-be-shamed/

I was happy and sad at the same time .

Happy because the post generated a lot of discussion with members speaking out with out inhibition.

Sad because it revealed to me the malaise that is eating our Society.

Though the views of the communities need not reflect the views of all the other Communities in general, this particular community views are taken as a model for others despite their bashing this Community.

During the course of the discussions I came across views, which I will sum up as it would be unethical to post them direct here.

1.All agree that there is this problem of leaving the elderly in Old Age Homes

.2.The elderly also prefer it.

3.This, from the trend and profiles I could gleam, seems to be from NRI .( parents of NRIs and the parents themselves)

4.It is my impression that there seems to be communication disconnect between the Parents and the Children.

5.Children do want to keep them at Home.

6.Sad was a comment the children is ‘an Insurance for parents’ posted by a Parent.

7.Equally appalling was a comment that “Parents are incorrigible and make the Life of Children Hell”

I have posted my views in the group discussion.

Then there was a question of Duty of Sons (No body spoke about daughters!)

The point is that where was this problem, say 40 years ago?

Agreed that we had differences at Homes with parents with us, we never thought that ‘they were living with us’ rather’ we were living in a Home’

Tiffs are always sorted out,

Then why so now?

1.People have gone after monetary values alone.

Parents want their sons to go abroad , especially the US for Higher Studies and Jobs.

When they get a Green Card, the parents feel that they own the world.

Forgetting that the values and the standard of Living shall make sure that they do not return.

If you have sent your child abroad you should be prepared for it.

Alternately, you should stay with them there.

If you a can not stay because you  want to come to your Native place,  then you have no other  option but to stay here alone or in an Old Age Home.

You can not blame the children for it.

Not that you need not send your children abroad, but only that you should have the maturity to handle the consequences.

2.Interfering in Grown up children’s day-to-day affairs.

Many elderly do resort to this as a sign of showing their control of the Household.

It produces the opposite reaction.

You have run the family for nearly 30 t0 40 years and you have taught , or you thought you had taught your children to face Life,.

Why not leave them be?

What could they do?

They might make mistakes. like you and I ( should this be ‘Me’) have made when we were young, or for that matter even now.

Why not admit that the younger generation may be, in fact, is more intelligent in handling practical Life than we did?

Let them run the family the way they want.

If you have brought them up well and proper they would have the basic Morals alright.

That would do.

Not the silly expectation of them coming to you and submitting their account and informing you where they are gong and what they are doing.

We have run our Race,

Let the Relay race run.If you run along  the relay runner, you Team, The Family, will lose.

Elders need to handle this with maturity.

2.For Children.

Parents are not your enemies.

They say and do hings for you, they may not know to how to go about saying or doing it.

Do not suspect their Love or their concern for you.

They are not Incorrigible.

These incorrigible idiots made you into what you are to-day, even enabling you to speak this way.

The value of parents will be known when they are no more.

Only Parents love you for what You are.-with all your warts.

Others for What You have.

PS.I have not touched the actual Physical and mental abuse of Parents here.

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