personal

Thank You My Son


Many People often leave the world without thanking those who deserve it.

One of the fundamentals of any religion is gratitude.

Thirukkural says,

எந்நன்றி கொன்றார்க்கும் உய்வுண்டாம் உய்வில்லை
செய்ந்நன்றி கொன்ற மகற்கு.

எந்நன்றி கொன்றார்க்கும் உய்வு உண்டாம் – பெரிய அறங்களைச் சிதைத்தார்க்கும் பாவத்தின் நீங்கும் வாயில் உண்டாம்; செய்ந்நன்றி கொன்ற மகற்கு உய்வு இல்லை – ஒருவன் செய்த நன்றியைச் சிதைத்த மகனுக்கு அஃது இல்லை. (பெரிய அறங்களைச் சிதைத்தலாவது, ஆன்முலை அறுத்தலும், மகளிர் கருவினைச் சிதைத்தலும், பார்ப்பார்த்தப்புதலும் (புறநா.34) முதலிய பாதகங்களைச் செய்தல். இதனால் செய்ந்நன்றி கோறலின் கொடுமை கூறப்பட்டது.).

There is no salvation for those who forget  Gratitude.

Here I do not take the meaning of Parimel Azhakar for the word ‘Makarkku’ meaning son, but the meaning people.

Often in Life we do not adequately thank people.

It is a slur on the Soul.

I am not very demonstrative in showing my emotions, even to my children.

I am of the view that love for the others would be felt by those who are loved .

They need not be vocalized.

But I belong to old school where the term Love was not even uttered in relationships and they were/are a part of the Being.

My father was the least emotional Man I have come across.

He would never express himself.

But Psychologists would say repressed emotions might lead to stress.

But my father was never stressed.

When my paternal grandfather died , his body was lying, my father was sitting an as Easy chair displaying no emotion.

I was around 12 or 13 then.

I remember asking him as to why he was not crying as others, he  replied if some one would guarantee that his father would come back alive , he would definitely cry!

When my mother died, with whom my father has lived for over 50 years, he just woke me up at the dead of the night, told me’

‘Your mother just died, you go to sleep and we shall see in the morning!

But , after the death of my mother, my father who weighed at 130 Kg.came down to 65 in a matter of six months.

During this period he  never spoke a word about my mother.

Probably I belong to those people who never exhibit emotions.

My Daughter in law says that I am the most  unromantic person she has ever seen!

Many of my friends say that I am cold.

Excepting to those whom I am close with.

Notwithstanding this, it is time I record my sentiments, though my son would say sentiments are non sense.

But isn’t Life all about all sentiments?

I may not be expressive but I know that sentiments make one live through the Life.

My son is very sensitive and never expresses himself.

He is more rational, according to him.

But behind this veneer I can detect the undercurrent of affection, love.

He is close to the family, that’s all.

And we are close as Friends.

He has been  taking responsibility of the Family from the time he was 17.

He never interfered.

He let me do things my way, despite some objections by him,

He has made my retired life pleasant by enabling me do things I wanted to do but could not during my working days.

He never lets me worry about anything.

Doing research in Hinduism.

The comfort he gives me gives me time and vigor to do what I want to do.

I have never appreciated him because I believe, as the Sastras say,never praise your children, point out their faults’

Parenting is not for popularity .

It is for their welfare.

I wish I could have done more for my son.

I could not.

I am sorry.

I have never expressed my appreciation of him, though I am proud of him.

As I near my death, I am running 65 years, I would not like to depart without saying how much I thank him and love him.

Thank you Anand, my son.

Wish I had been as good a Father as you have been /are a son!

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Hinduism

12 Kinds Of Sons Puthra Puthri Explanation


I have recently published an article ‘Hinduism on Children and Illegitimate Children”

 

I mentioned in the Post that the term Puthra denotes Son, Puthra means one who prevents parents entering a hell called ‘Pu or Puth”

 

I received a valid  comment that if that were so, what about Puthri(Daughter)?

Sons and daughters.jpg

Sons Daughters

 

The term Puthra has many meanings ; one indicates ‘Deliver”

 

That is one who delivers parents   from Puth.

 

Likewise Puthri has multiple meanings, one being worthy daughter.

 

In the case of a daughter the term Puthri is used in this sense.

 

Now there is some more interesting information on sons in Hinduism

 

There are twelve kinds of sons.

 

They are,

 

1/. Aurasputra.
A son born to a wife of his own caste begot by the husband himself is called aurasputra.

2/. Kshetrajaputra.
If one dies without children or is impotent or possessed of a disease, his wife is lawfully allowed to lie with the brother of the husband to get a child. The son born of such a union is called ksetrajaputra.

3/. Dattaputra.
When one is worrying miserably for getting a son and if at that time a husband and wife willingly hand over a son born to them by mutual consent with the following words :”This son becomes your own from now on,” with a religious sprinkling of water, such a son is called dattaputra.

4/. Kritrimaputra.
A son adopted from one’s own caste for the purpose of doing the obsequial ceremonies for the manes is called kstrimaputra.

5/. Guudhotputra.
A son born to one’s wife by another man is called guudhotputra.

6/. Apaviddhaputra.
Where a son is rejected by either a father or mother or by both and that son is taken care of and brought up by another man, that son becomes an apaviddhaputra.

7/. Kaninaputra.
If a son is born to a virgin before marriage while living with her father, that son is called a kaninaputra.

8/. Sahodhaputra.
When a girl is married while pregnant the son born to her after marriage is called a sahodhaputra.

9/. Krtakaputra.
A son purchased and bought up by a sonless man is called krtakaputra.

10/. Paunarbhavaputra.
A son born to a woman after becoming a widow or after being divorced by her husband by her willingly going with another man is called a paunarbhavaputra.

11/. Swayamdattaputra.
When a son after becoming an orphan or after being abandoned by his parents goes willingly to another man and remains with him as his son is called Swayamdattaputra.

12/. Shaudraputra.
A son born to a brahmin of a shudra wife is called a shaudra (paarashava) putra.

In general, as a rule in this yuga (Kali yuga) only putra conceived into his own wife’s womb by the husband is allowed, and considered putra, as some of the others, due to the low and lusty nature of the qualities of this yuga some or all of these could be abused by unscrupulous men of this age.

 

Citation.

http://www.salagram.net/putra.htm

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consumer forum

Choose Brahmin Mates Swayamvara At Chennai


I have lamented the fact that the Brahmin Community is finding it difficult to find suitable Mates .

 

This problem has become more pronounced now because of various factors.

 

1.Girl’s parents delaying the marriage.

 

2.Girls and Boys having imaginary Ideal Girl/Boy and waiting for a Wave length.

 

3.As the custom of circulating the Horoscope  is getting diminished because of shrinking Families and same community friends, the choice becomes

restricted to  only Internet, Matrimonial sites.

 

Though these are effective, the communication conveyed through these sites by the uploaders  do not receive possible Brides/Grooms.

 

And in most of these sites, the educational and salary expectations are so high and unrealistic, one wonders how people with less qualification/Income get married at all.

 

In the case of Boy’s parents willing to marry a Girl from of a Family of not affluent means, the girl’s parents suspect that there is some thing wrong with the boy,because of , in their perception,unequal alliance.

 

And in may a case, the communication between the parents of the Boys and Girls do not proceed smoothly as person to person communication is much better than Email/Video Chats.

 

I found the following information in Facebook and am sharing it.

 

Marriage proposals at Chennai.

Swayamvara, Chennai

 

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consumer forum

Baby Care Mother Care Online


I remember running from pillar to post to buy a Breast Pump when my daughter delivered a Baby.

I had to run around a couple of Stores before getting Confused.

Finally I got the contact from Just Dial to complete the purchase.

Baby are and Mother Online products.

For Baby and the Mother Products Online

In Online purchasing I did not have one Central point where I could get offers and make a comparison.

Starting from Pregnancy, now a days, when people go in for  Health Care products, they are at a loss.

I do not remember any product being bought by parents as a Child, let alone while I was a Baby.

For my children, my purchase was restricted to buying Amulspray Milk Powder, that’s all.

I never knew what a Diaper was till my Grand son came along.

Now as my Grand daughter is One year old, I seem to be finding a lot of things I never heard of.

Babyswipes, Changing mats,Grooming products,Bathing accessories.

For mothers, Pregnancy products,Breast feeding,Pregnancy Clothes,Books on Pregnancy, Baby Care

Then you have Nursery accessories for the Child, Books, Drawing Books, Stationary ..

One needs a lot of time to understand these products , at least for me!

To search for these?

Sometimes I wonder how I have grown without all these and I remain healthy even now.

However, this plethora of products have become necessary in world of competition and consumerism.

People are engaged in full-time occupations, both Husband and wife,for economic security.

They do not have the time and patience to sit through the Baby care.

One touch solution is needed.

So when Human presence in the form of elders are missing, for some reason or another, it is natural one goes for Consumerism, to ease the style of Living.

So one can not fault people going in for these products, though appear to be unnecessary are in fact essential, given the circumstances.

We do have Online sites for buying these products and there are some which offer you a comparison of products and offers.

One such site Online is babyoye.com

Here I found a complete range of Products relating to Pregnancy, pre-delivery and Post delivery.

Babyswipes, Diapers, Disposable,

Books for mothers, Children products, Toys,

Everything one needs for the Mother and the Baby.

You just log in the site and order.

There are no hidden charges, every thing included in the quoted Price.

How does one pay?

One can pay through Credit, Debit Cards,Online Credit,Gift Cards, Internet Banking or Pay Cash On Delivery.

Products are shipped through Popular Couriers .

If it is an Incorrect product, replacement is effected.

There are exceptions .

The order can also be Canceled .

Top Brands are available.

And one gets offers , Sale as well.

Online shopping reliable, swift and seems to be trustworthy.

You may try this.

 http://www.babyoye.com/

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Parenting

Elder Abuse By Children Facebook Discussion.


Recently I shared a few of my posts on Elderly abuse by their children to Facebook Communities of which I am a member.

This is the Post.

Senior citizen abuse.

Children Leave parents at Old Age Homes

https://ramanan50.wordpress.com/2013/10/02/parents-in-elderly-home-children-to-be-shamed/

I was happy and sad at the same time .

Happy because the post generated a lot of discussion with members speaking out with out inhibition.

Sad because it revealed to me the malaise that is eating our Society.

Though the views of the communities need not reflect the views of all the other Communities in general, this particular community views are taken as a model for others despite their bashing this Community.

During the course of the discussions I came across views, which I will sum up as it would be unethical to post them direct here.

1.All agree that there is this problem of leaving the elderly in Old Age Homes

.2.The elderly also prefer it.

3.This, from the trend and profiles I could gleam, seems to be from NRI .( parents of NRIs and the parents themselves)

4.It is my impression that there seems to be communication disconnect between the Parents and the Children.

5.Children do want to keep them at Home.

6.Sad was a comment the children is ‘an Insurance for parents’ posted by a Parent.

7.Equally appalling was a comment that “Parents are incorrigible and make the Life of Children Hell”

I have posted my views in the group discussion.

Then there was a question of Duty of Sons (No body spoke about daughters!)

The point is that where was this problem, say 40 years ago?

Agreed that we had differences at Homes with parents with us, we never thought that ‘they were living with us’ rather’ we were living in a Home’

Tiffs are always sorted out,

Then why so now?

1.People have gone after monetary values alone.

Parents want their sons to go abroad , especially the US for Higher Studies and Jobs.

When they get a Green Card, the parents feel that they own the world.

Forgetting that the values and the standard of Living shall make sure that they do not return.

If you have sent your child abroad you should be prepared for it.

Alternately, you should stay with them there.

If you a can not stay because you  want to come to your Native place,  then you have no other  option but to stay here alone or in an Old Age Home.

You can not blame the children for it.

Not that you need not send your children abroad, but only that you should have the maturity to handle the consequences.

2.Interfering in Grown up children’s day-to-day affairs.

Many elderly do resort to this as a sign of showing their control of the Household.

It produces the opposite reaction.

You have run the family for nearly 30 t0 40 years and you have taught , or you thought you had taught your children to face Life,.

Why not leave them be?

What could they do?

They might make mistakes. like you and I ( should this be ‘Me’) have made when we were young, or for that matter even now.

Why not admit that the younger generation may be, in fact, is more intelligent in handling practical Life than we did?

Let them run the family the way they want.

If you have brought them up well and proper they would have the basic Morals alright.

That would do.

Not the silly expectation of them coming to you and submitting their account and informing you where they are gong and what they are doing.

We have run our Race,

Let the Relay race run.If you run along  the relay runner, you Team, The Family, will lose.

Elders need to handle this with maturity.

2.For Children.

Parents are not your enemies.

They say and do hings for you, they may not know to how to go about saying or doing it.

Do not suspect their Love or their concern for you.

They are not Incorrigible.

These incorrigible idiots made you into what you are to-day, even enabling you to speak this way.

The value of parents will be known when they are no more.

Only Parents love you for what You are.-with all your warts.

Others for What You have.

PS.I have not touched the actual Physical and mental abuse of Parents here.

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