Set Goals Die

There is this fad of setting goals for one’s Life.

Goal Setting.
Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” – See more at:

This has gone to such an extent hat parents of children , even about 4, start planning the Career  of their wards, by constantly talking in front of the child, in some cases asking the child to repeat what the parents say about the child’s future and goals.

The Child also repeats without knowing the meaning of  what it says.

This gets implanted in the mind of the child.

This becomes an obsession in the later years and the child grows into an adult without having an option to weigh the options available.

Unfortunately the parents may change the goal they set for their child.

This will not be accepted by the child , it rebels at the Adolescent Age and continues in Adulthood.

As Adults they are forced .especially by the Society to set goals for themselves indirectly.

But it is imposed on them by the Corporate, by dangling Economic benefits Salary, perks.

A corporate has its Agenda, Namely Profit, nothing more.

All this talk of attitudes, behavioral suggestions ,Career optimization.. have a single goal, that of making money for the company.

Lured by the tempting offers, children and parents plan their lives accordingly.

Unfortunately Life is not merely about earning Money.

It has more to it.

Life is multifaceted.

One has to accept things in Life as they come.

One can not wait for one event to end to begin another as is said’ One can never  take a Bath in the Ocean after the waves cease”

Choosing a Career is important, so is marriage,

Sacrificing one for another is a step but one must have the mental maturity to adjust.

Alternately one must know how to balance both the options.

I am coming across stories where youngsters committing suicides for failing in examinations,Failure in Love Life,unable to adjust to marital issues .

Weirdest is a recent case reported in The Times of India dtd 7 July 2013,(page 3, Bangalore edition), where  a girl. 22,is reported to have committed suicide because her parents arranged for her wedding while she wanted to pursue her studies.

If parents and children were to understand Relationships,Behavior and about Careers (for this case),, they would not have resorted to these stupid decisions like ending life.

It is my experience that people tend to discard opinions f the others who are close to them but trust Books.

Goal setting is to be voluntary, not forced, nor induced.

Let the individuals decide;the parents must remain as Just Moderators to guide them without bias.

I recommend reading  some of the books mentioned.

Career Planning By John BarkerJim Kellen.

Regarding Children by A New Respect for Childhood and Families By Herbert AndersonSusan B. W. Johnson

One might get these Books at a good price, through flipkart,Amazon, Bestdeal,.

Follow the Link below.


Career Re Entry Especially For Parents

I came across an interesting article in the New York Times , which is quite interesting and relevant for the young to-day.

I am posting the Excerpts with my comments .

Life is changing constantly and our plans for future, which includes career ,marriages and children, assumes only the quantitative aspect of Life.
One can not go by the experiences of others as the experiences of an individual in Life and his/her reaction is unique and these can not be predicted beforehand.
As the assumptions here are hypothetical so are the results.
So when a situation arises in Life, to deal with qualitatively and emotionally,’thinking’ is not a solution.
Feeling and the way we take and manage our feelings , they are important.
A mature approach to Life, which includes career and children, would be to take things as they come and take decisions at that point of time.
A ‘thinking life’ will be miserable..

Standard Deviation for Personality Score for women.

“Last week, Jennifer Romaniuk wrote the Motherlode with a passionate parental quandary. “I voluntarily walked away from a promising career,” she e-mailed. “I had no idea how long it would take to claw my way back.” The decision to stay home seemed like the right one when she made it. Spending more time with her children would be fun; ending the race between work and child care for her two kids would make life feel less daunting for her and for her fast-tracked husband.

But when the child-care pressures began to ease, Ms. Romaniuk was a different person in a different employment market, overqualified for the entry level but not experienced enough for senior positions, and facing businesses (in her case, law firms) who aren’t taking many chances on employees any more. Re-entry hasn’t just been hard, it has been making her regret the choice she made almost a decade ago.

It’s one peril of all the conversation that surrounds the choices parents make when their children are young (primarily mothers, but fathers as well): when we emerge, we may feel less like one person in the midst of a transition than like some sort of cautionary tale, or icon of the ways policy and culture undermine women and parents. It’s hard to view ourselves with compassion when judgments are more common than understanding. Parents moving in and out of the job search right now aren’t the only ones in transition. The ways we see work and gender and balance are shifting as well. The result is a world in which it’s nearly impossible not to find some way to regret our choices while at the same time being forced to contemplate how “lucky” we were to have the ability to make the choice.

It’s later — when the grumpy, hungry children are older, when the baby is walking herself to school, when the wild immediacy of life has calmed — that the full impact of the change intrudes itself. Even people who loathed their former jobs, or who left the business world planning an eventual shift to art or writing or entrepreneurship, or who are more than happy in an at-home role, can find themselves blindsided. When the baby is tiny, or the children are all under 5, or the special needs demand constant advocacy, we don’t have to find our place in the world — our place has got an iron grip around our knees. It’s only when that grip loosens that the onus is back on us.

And that’s the tough part. How many books have been written to ease us through transitions and change? How many poems and songs and odes and Web sites dedicated to figuring out who we are in the world? Oodles. One transitive moment is not the time to look back and assess — it’s anything but.

So my advice to Jennifer echoes the words of lynninnyAW, and CC Mom: try to take the long view (or maybe, for the moment, don’t take any view at all). It’s not just that “what’s done is done,” but that the way you really feel about your years and choices is colored by your current discouragement.

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10 Best Jobs for Over-Forty Women

Kids as young as 9 to receive career advice

Why not when they are in the womb?
This is the surest way to make children hate studies.
Have a heart.Let the child enjoy child hood.

LONDON (Reuters) – Children in British primary schools as young as nine are to receive advice via internet sites such as YouTube on their future career paths under a new scheme, the government said on Monday.

Under the program designed to help children of all socio-economic backgrounds realize their goals, students will be given mentors, have the chance to visit universities, and be given counseling on what subjects to study via social networking sites like Facebook.

A recent study showed that 75 percent of 11-year-olds wanted to attend university, the government said.

Life ,career and money.

“WORRIES about job security and the cost of raising children are the primary reasons Australian women are now putting off having a child”-Courier mail,23739,26033922-5016679,00.html
Saddening.Life is meant to lived.What is the point of making money and building up career, if you can not lead a happy married life with children?One must remember our parents have been able to manage with less.Why not us?Reason is we have unnecessary wants and convince ourselves it is essential.Money is essential.but not at the cost of normal family life.Better people realize it before they grow old.
Medically giving birth after 25 yrs by a woman is not easy for her.