There comes a stage when the parents start complaining to their children about each other, instead of children complaining about siblings.
Either the wife or the husband complains to the daughter or son.
This happens when the parents cross fifty and children start earning or get married,whether the son stays with the parents or not.
Recently I had a call on this from a son, settled abroad,on this.
He was worried about this.
Each of the parents have complained about the other.
The Boy wanted to solve the issue
The Boy is over 35 and the parents in their sixties.
He told me he wanted to talk to them separately and set the things right.
He sought my advise.
My answer was to do nothing of the sort.
Any marital relationship is bound have disagreements.
One is dissatisfied with the other.
Matured ones know to leave the disagreements and proceed as if nothing has happened, provided the grouse is not about genuine harassment or involving adultery.
But as one grows old,th children grown up, the parents seek solace in their children.
They do not wish to let their affairs known to outside the family.
They need an out let to share their feelings.
That’s all and nothing more even though they may not admit it.
Talking to grown up children who are understanding enough reduces tension and gives a feeling that there is someone who listens to problems sympathetically and consoles.
What the children need to do is to listen to the issue or complaints as one would to a close friend and emphasize with them, with out making an adverse comment about the other parent.
Talk to them,console them and assure them that you shall talk to the other party and resolve.
But do not talk to the other party on this.
This approach, I have seen, has helped a lot of people.
These things shall pass in Life.
Most of the complications in Life arise out of the mistaken notion that all problems can be solved by active participation.
And undue importance given to regular natural incidents.
One should be mature enough to understand what a serious problem is.
Some of these quick fixes for imagined problems arise out of blindly following western thought s about solving problems.
In most cases the cure turns out worse than the disease.