Mourning Death Theetu Rituals Hinduism Details


There are forty Samskaras to be performed by a Hindu.

Death is an important Samskara,

I will provide some guidelines with Links.

However, the suggestions of the Purohit is to be taken for consideration as some customs vary for each Caste and even in a Caste for a particular Family/Group.

General.

Those who become Untouchable during the period of Mourning-Theetu

The following link is very useful.

http://stotraratna.awardspace.com/sruthi/Samkshepa%20dharma%20sastram/vd4.pdf

Check list.

1.Inform Family priest, Sastrigal.

2.Keep the body lying head facing North.

3.Light an Oil lamp near the  Head;apply Vibhuti(basmam, not as a paste)

3.Light some Agarbathis to ward off smell.

4.As one is not to cook at Home till the body is taken out,inform relatives for arrangement of food for the day.

5.Inform people who are to be informed.

6.At best the body can be kept for about 10 hours;under special circumstances, it may be kept for 24 hours in an air-conditioned casket.

7.Those who go to the burning ghat must go the next day for the collection of Ashes.

8.Ensure that a Doctor visits and give you a certificate.

9.In the case of Death in a hospital, make sure that the necessary formalities are complied with and a certificate is obtained.

10.Inform the Crematorium about the expected time of the arrival of the body after consulting the Sastrigal.

11.At the Crematorium show the certificate and get a receipt. Some times it will be issued the next day.

12.Get the Death registered .

Clarifications on some aspects.

1,One can perform the ceremonies for the first twelve days at specified places,

However it is correct to perform all the Rites at Home and it will bring prosperity.

2.The rites for the first ten days may be done from the seventh day , performing the cumulative rites for six days.

3.There is still a custom in the Hindu communities. especially among Brahmins for a  Widow.

That of removing the Mangal Sutra or Thaali and breaking of Bangles in Public.

This does not have the sanction of the Sastras.

The wearing of Thaali is a later custom developed and it does not find a place in Vedic Marriage,

The removal of Mangal Sutra may be done some one who is widowed already(preferably elder to the one in question) quietly on the morning of the Eleventh Day,;have the bangles removed and have the Mangal Sutra removed and dropped in a vessel containing  milk.

One can perform all functions in the Family including Marriage after the Thirteenth Day, Subasweekara,Gruha Yajnam, except in the case of Spouse. Wife and children.

The Gruha Yajna means you are  permitted to do Yajna.

Subasweekaara means you invite Auspiciousness.

Suggestions, questions are welcome.

Additional Link.

http://indiansamourai.hautetfort.com/media/01/02/1850732936.pdf

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90 thoughts on “Mourning Death Theetu Rituals Hinduism Details

  1. Dear Sir,
    I’m being the only child (daughter) for my mum who had just passed away on 31st July 2016, can i perform the 30th day prayer by myself in Sivan temple?

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    1. You can perform prayer. If possible please feed the poor. No of people depends on your inclination. When you find time , after one year please visit one of the piteu Dosha parihara temples which I have mentioned in my article under the same title.regards

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  2. Hello Sir, My Husdand lost his mother this year. This month is the seventh month since she has passed away. Can we do the AvaniAvittam. Does he wait for the Yagnam to get over or just change the threads?

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  3. I belong to non brahmin pillai family. My father in law expired on 4th august’16 at 7 pm. Today all the rituals will be done. What r the main (chadangu) to be performed by myself being the elder daughter in law. I m unable to attend the ceremony. My husband is present in the ceremony.
    Thank you

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    1. The ceremonies are to be performed by your husband with you being present by his side.No specific ceremonies for you. You are to be present with him for the ceremony.

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  4. I am from a telugu brahmin family. My mother (stepmom) and father died last year with my mother dying first on July 09, 2015 and my father after 3 months Oct 11th 2015. I have performed the final rites for both of them and now the annual ceremony is approaching. I’ve been advised that unless I finish my father’s annual ceremony I cannot perform my mother’s ceremony. …I want to know if this is right and if so when do I perform my mother’s ceremony. ..I want to do all that is needed as per rules….please advice….thanks

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    1. Yes, Perform your Father’s ceremony first and your stepmother’s during the next corresponding Thithi of her death,that is if it was on Shukla Dasami, perform the Sraddha during the next Shukla Dasami

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  5. Thank you for your valuable and reassuring advice. I will contribute my mite towards this blog as you are doing a tremendous service to help those in doubt and confusion and maintaining a website definitely involves expenditure which should rightfully be shared to the extent possible by those who benefit.

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  6. Dear Shri Ramanan: My cousin’s (father’s elder brother’s eldest son) wife passed away last year (27 July 2015). I work and stay in the Middle East and come to India during the time of Varalakshmi Vratham and Avani Avittam so we can perform these in India. This year the Varalakshmi Vratham is on 12 August. The annual function for the deceased will be held from 13 to 15 August. My elder brother’s vadhyar advised him to perform the Varalakshmi Vratham on 19th instead of 12th August i.e. after annual function is over. However, for me postponing will result in disruption of our schedule as my wife and I have already arranged to travel on 19th and ticket/hotel bookings are already made. Would you please give us your guidance on whether we can proceed with performing Varalakshmi Vrathan on 12th August itself? Thank you and Namaskarams.

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    1. Strictly speaking when we perform Homa on the 13th day the Theetu is off. The terms Subhasweekara indicates that we adopt auspiciousness on the 13th day. The term Gruhayagnya means one is empowered to perform Homa. Such being the case I am of the opinion that after 13th day the Theetu is gone.Subha karyas can be performed. I celebrated my son’s wedding within 45 days of my elder brother’s demise. In my opinion the Vrata can be performed as also Yajur Upakarma. Regards.

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  7. lot of changes are required in the practices being followed particularly in hindu familiies after the death of the husband with lot of uncultured and inhuman beliefs and not supported by any vedas . HUman approach is required to be spread all over the world and to be seen everybody with human touch and not inhuman beliefs.

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  8. HI, MY FATHER IN LAW’S OWN UNCLE (mother’s brother) DIED. MY FATHER IN LAW NO MORE. & how many days theetu has to be observed. Can I do big festivals like Diwali and Pongal

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  9. Dear Sir, My mother in law expired some months ago and my husband is the only son. We have performed all the rituals from the third day itself at home. We perform all the monthly rituals like masiham and shodakumbham at home. However the extra masiham thithi is during a time when I need to go out for an academic programme. Is it possible to do this function on an alternate date?

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  10. my husband’s grandfather’s younger brother’s wife died last month. my father-in-law is also no more . i just want to know whether we can do all type of festivals( kollu, varalakshmi pooja…etc) this year.

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  11. My daddy’s elder brother expired on 30th march 2016 and my wife is currently three months pregnant . can we perform pooja’s and baby shower function at home as one year is not completed.

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  12. my mother in law passed away recently, we are staying at her place as no one else can stay for 16 days. what are the things we need to observe? i have also sent a message

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      1. my husband stays there at night but morning sends us to our house. tmrw is 7th and the karyam on 16th day, we are not sure if lamp is to kept for 30 days or 48 days. i have also sent a. text msg to the number in the comment to ask a bit more personal questions. whatever is required to be done kindly let me know. many thanks for this.

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  13. My grandfathers (father’s father)brother wife died (90 yrs)how many days theetu for me and to my husband some saying 3 days some 16 days .

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    1. My Periamma[mothers elder sister] had passed away, not sure for how many days is the theetu for us, some say 3 days i.e on 3rd day we can start auspicious activities, some say 13days and some run away when the topic discussed is related to death

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  14. My father & mother is no more. My father’s mother expired 93 years old on 9th April. I was about to go to yathra sabarimala. Guruswamyasked remove mala. Removed it. How many days theetu i am having? is that 3 days or 10 days? Also, i shouldn’t go yathra for one year? one of my vaadhiyar said “i can go to sabarimala now and all temples as my father is no more and i am the kartha for my father since. Can you please clear me?

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    1. Technically after the 13th day you can perform all functions including going to Sabarimalai.Especially in this casecas she was 93 and this is considered as Kalyana Chaavu.

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  15. My husband’selder brother died.Do we as younger brother and his wife need to do some rituals and presents like “odividal” ?Pl explain .we 2 are non ritualists still

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  16. My husband’s father’s brother (elder) ‘s son, my cousin passed away how long the theetu to be observed? When can I put kolam on vasal?

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  17. Dear Sir,

    Does our vedhas describes about theetu depending upon the relationship? For example: for mother – 1 year, for father – 6 months, other relations – 3 months.

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  18. We are in a village in Palakkad (Palghat) three Big (thayathis are there in our Village.Some body died in the thayathis to observe ten days mourning and not not attending the temple.Some time He/She died in the same thaythis and the died person left the village 50 years back and to days date no body been seen also observing the (Theettu0(thhendal0.The fact story Im mentioned that my wife left Mumbai in Nov end 15 this year some House function and attending the Sasthapreethi.Suddenly the relatives died one by one after ten days gap The died persons are above 80 years-She is not seen the person at all.out of 44 days she has to observe 30 days (Theettu) and not able to attending the Sasathpreethi function in the temple.Pls explain whom to observed the (Theettu). Any specific rules are there in Tamil Brahimin community..To days time due to communication fast the news are appeared in Facebook.or some other communication.
    How ever the almost all year in the function time this is happening.People are spend time/money and coming form far place even out India to attending the function the (Theettu0(thhendal0. comes what they are about trust with god is disappearing.Regularly it is happening to any one of the Family yearly.

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  19. My fathers brothers wife died at the age of 91 . Can I tell prayers . What I should not do, except not visiting temples. I am currently overseas

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    1. Theetu is for One year.As she was 91, it is called Kalyana Chaavu, Auspicious death.I hope her Karmas are being performed by her children.After 13th Day, you can go about your routine, no restricions. In my opinion, visiting Temples after this period is permitted, though sastris say other wise, as we perform Punyahavchana on the 13th day and visit temple on that day.Regds

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  20. Please let me know if my wife’s maternal uncle’s son expired whether my wife has theetu. If so for how many days. Whether theetu is there for me also for that period. Pl clarify.

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  21. My father’s own sister aged 96 died. People say we should not lite village for 10days.not koalas. Is it correct? Teeth is only for 3 days.
    Kindly clear my doubts

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  22. is it mandatory that the widow stays in the same home or can she stay in her son-in-laws house too before the 13th day. please reply

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  23. my sister does not have any children and her husband also passed away. I have done her 2 days karma. Should I do rest of the karma for year or do I have the right to perform this karma

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    1. 1.As you started the karma, complete till 13th day.It is beneficial and shall bring prosperity.Leaving in the middle now is not correct.
      2.If possible, you can perform the first Sraddha.
      3.You do not have the right.But since you have started it complete it.
      Regds.

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  24. I want to perform the mottai adithal function to my son (now 4 months) at his 11th month.During the time of his birth or before( I am not sure),my father-in-law’s brother(i.e his chittapa’s son) died.my Husband’s family is saying that we shlould not perform any function for 1 year.But my son is having lots of hair and he is also having some dandruff issues.If I have to do this function then I have to wait until he reaches 3 years of age which is practically impossible.Could you please let me know whether the dosha is applicable to us or not

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    1. The accepted practice in such cases is to have a few locks of Hair cut and dropped in the family deity’s hundi.( the locks of hair may be wrapped in a yellow cloth).Then you can have the Mottai any where.When he reaches the third year,go to the family deity Temle and have the Mottai performed

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  25. PLEASE INFORM WHETHER A NEPHEW CAN DO A DEATH RITUAL TO HIS UNCLE WHO HAS NO SON OR DAUGHTER. IF SO PLEASE TELLS US WHETHER IT IS ENOUGH TO DO THE RITUALS FOR 13 DAYS UPTO SUBASWEEKARA

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  26. My father’s brother (elder) ‘s son, my cousin passed away how long the theetu to be observed? When can I start my routine?

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  27. Please clarify the following………
    A lady (of 80 year’s old) whose husband’s brother’s son’s son (in short Machinar’s Grand son) expired in an accident at his early 20’s and he was unmarried (bramachari) at the time of accident.

    Since the Gothram is same how long the theetu to be observed? for one year? Going to Temple and performing poojas and completing the committments (Venduthals in Tamil) are to be done only after one year?

    Please advise suitbaly with references of any Tamil books……

    M V Swaminathan

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    1. 1.For accidental deaths no karmas need to be performed.

      2.Even if it is performed, after 13th day one can visit temples, perform subha Karyas.This is my view.I follow this in my family.
      Generally subha karyas are avoided for a period of one year including Venduthals,
      Ref.Vaidyanaatha Deekshiteeyam

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  28. Please clarify is there any restriction of going to burial ghat who is having living farther and mother. Can the relatives who come for mourning stay in the house of chief performer of the mourning rites (say brother law’s house who is performing his mothers rite).

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    1. Those whose parents are alive are prohibited from going to the burial Ghat.
      Those who come for mourning should not stay in the house where the event had taken place.

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  29. Theetu has to be observed by dayadhis. Here I would like to know 10 days theetu has to be performed by dayadhis and 3 days theetu will apply to pangalis. 7 Thalai murai is taken into consideration to decide number of days theetu. How to take the Thalai murai and from an ester period we have to consider for this. Please clarify.

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