Posts Tagged ‘Parenting’

Parents In Elderly Home, Children To Be Shamed

In lifestyle on October 2, 2013 at 09:02

What the basic duty of Children is has to be pointed out and be forced at the point of a Gun is saddening.

Elder Abuse.

Who abuses Parents Most, Chart.

It is a fact that many a parents find themselves in a Destitute Home, euphemistically called variously, from Elders’Home, Visranti Nilaya,Retire Home,etc, the last names reserved for the Rich children’s parents.

The last-named have a high-sounding  reasons.

they have a well organised atmosphere,where they will be more comfortable than they would be with us”

What a concern?

The same group  is settled abroad, mostly the USA and satisfy themselves, by calling them on Skype?

If they fall sick the Homes will take care of them.

If the parents die there, they will they will transfer money to the Home to take care of the final Rites of the parents, as they have no time, the body will not be in good condition and they are not going to come back are they?

Parents, without going into the religious or sentiment aspect of things, bring up or at least used to bring up children without being conscious of it.

It was done as though it is an involuntary bodily function.

Never have they imagined/or imagine that they were/are doing it expecting that these children will be grateful or take care of them in their old age when they become infirm.

Nor did the parents whine every second that it was a tiresome affair and that. they’ can not manage ‘because of ‘time and physical constraints’

Nor did the parents engage Baby sitters , devoted exclusively to take care of children; nor did they brag how much they love the children and spend enormous sums on taking care of children.

Children now seem to be taken care of more for social status than urged by the natural instinct.

What ever be the motives , children must remember these are the idiots, who know nothing and were/are poor are the same fools who taught you how to use Toilet and fed you, in many case forcefully, to ensure you remain Healthy.

These are the incapable people who , despite the fact they had little money educated you , forgoing what the wanted for them.

Well, it is not the children’s concern.

Their refrain,

‘What have you done?

You took care of me because it is your duty.

You got married and we were the result.

It is your duty and it is no great shakes that you brought us up.

What is your contribution to the family today , economically or Physically?

We have commitments?


In such a Value system the move by the Maharashtra Government to shame the children who dump the parents in an Old Age Home by making Public the names of such children in News Papers.

Though this sounds fine, the finer aspect of Human Values is lost.

One who dumps parents in an Old Age Home will not  be bothered if his name is Published as a defaulter.

This would hurt the parents more.

I would not be surprised if some socially conscious son files a case that this move by the  objecting that this restricts the Freedom of The Individual and the State has no right in this matter.

“MUMBAI: The state Cabinet on Monday came out with a name-and-shame policy for grown-ups who do not take care of their parents, saying those who abandon their parents or leave them with no option but to take shelter in old-age homes will be put on a ‘defaulter (sic) list’ and their names widely publicized through newspapers…

However, everyone whose parents are in old-age homes may not face action. The policy says ‘children of those parents who have to live in old-age homes because their wards are not taking care of them will be put on the list.’

Legal experts said Section 125 of the Code of Criminal Procedure, 1973 and Section 20 of the Hindu Adoptions and Maintenance Act, 1956, make it mandatory for wards to look after their parents, failing which action can be initiated against them. If a person defies a maintenance order given by a magistrate, he/she can also be tried under Section 188 of the Indian Penal Code.


For those who know Tamil.


I am 90.

My wife is 82.

I have two sons and one daughter .

Eldest son is employed in a Private Firm in Chennai.

He draws about Rs 9000 per Month.

He has a child.

My second son , also in Chennai, is doing some small business in Ambattur, Chenaai.

My Daughter is married and is living well in with her Husband  in Villiwakkam ,Chennai  and has two children.

I worked in a government Organisation, receive a pension of about Rs.9000 per month.

Me and my wife have been living separately in a  small portion in the same compound where my eldest son stays.

My wife, being 82, can not cook.

I have come here to end my days and hope I shall, soon.”


Pocket Money Alarming Trends IndiaTakes Action

In Education, Parenting on August 31, 2013 at 13:04

Pocket Money is the money given to children by the parents to spend.

Pocket Money in India

Pocket Money In India, A Study.

This is addition to what is being provided at Home by way of Food, Shelter Clothing, Study expenses and in fact covers everything.

This concept  is a new one, since about fifteen years,;even then, it was not followed as it is being done now.

We were provided  every thing by the parents at Home(about 50 years back) and I did not even know what to ask.

I used accept what was given by my father.

Even School textbooks were not asked for.

If I needed something, which was rare, at times I used to ask my mother and what I wanted was provided, but never Money.

Today, we find Pocket Money is being demanded as a matter of Right by the children and parents also consider this as a part of a Child growing into an adult!

It sounds funny.

Why does a child require Money and why do parents encourage it?

One point is that the peer Pressure exerted on the Parents by the other parents  on the one hand  and , on the other,the pressure exerted by the child’s friends.

Many parents resort to this practice to show their status,also to assuage their guilt feeling of not being with the child  as much as they would like because of the fact that both Husband and wife are employed.

They think they are compensating this by giving money to children.

At a relatively young age, say up to 10 years, if you bring up the child properly. the child would not ask for Pocket Money and what it needs is the fact that the Father/Mother personally  bought something for him

Once you allow the child the taste of money, it never leaves.

The child develops a taste for things which it can not afford and assumes that the Money is there merely for the asking.

When you have money, one tends to spend on things one does not need, this applies more to Adults,look at your credit card purchase-s you would have bought things which you would otherwise have not bought if you hard currency ;such being the case, imagine a child!

When the child has  more money it tends to develop bad habits like Smoking< Drinking and begin to use drugs.

As usual parents are the last to know of this.

Then things had gone beyond control.

Another serious implication is that when the child does not get the money from you it starts stealing , first from Home ,then later from other people.

I am not sounding an undue Alarm.

Survey at .


This I have observed in quite a number of cases.

The issue has assumed such serious proportions that the Government of India has come out with a Scheme to regulate this and create an awareness among the students and the parents.

I am providing some thoughts from another source;

Pocket money as the name suggests is money given to children to take care of petty expenses. This amount of money can be given by parents’ everyday, every week or every month or even on adhoc basis, as and when the child requires it. As long as the child has the freedom to spend the money, it will be deemed as pocket money.

Parents extensively differ in their perspectives of whether or not to give pocket money to children. Some parents believe that pocket money should not be given since

That will make the child feel that ‘parents money is not his/her money’,
‘It could lead to fights between children’,
‘Unhealthy competition amongst children on the amount of pocket money they get’
Loss of control on where children spend the money’

However, giving pocket money to children has several advantages:

Children feel a sense of independence and responsibility towards spending the money the right way. They learn & understand the value of money. They also learn to understand that amount of money is limited and they need to always choose between their various desires to ensure correct use of their pocket money.
Children get into the habit of planned income and expenditure. They also learn about saving & budgeting. For eg: if they want to buy a present for their mother’s birthday, they will need to put aside some amount of money every month to collect the commensurate amount and buy the gift.
Giving pocket money to children also makes them feel an important part of the family since they know that they get a part of the family’s monthly income.
Some parents even believe in their children earning pocket money. What does that mean? It means that parents can often inculcate values/ beliefs/ actions in their children by rewarding them for it in the form of pocket money. In such cases, parents divide the pocket money amount in two parts:

One that is given on a timely basis.
Second that is earned against some house jobs. For eg: every Sunday, you could start giving a fixed sum of money to your son if he helps his father in cleaning the car. Or if your daughter helps around in dusting the house. This will in a way also inculcate the habit of weekly cleanliness in them since childhood. Similarly, if you strongly wish to inculcate the value of ‘ helping others’ in your children, you could promise them an extra sum of money during summer vacations if they help your maid’s child learn the basics of math.

Pocket Money , Indian Government Initiative.

Pocket Money – Financial Education in Schools
NISM has developed a program to impart basic financial skills to school students (Classes VIII upwards). Named as ‘Pocket Money’, this program has been developed as an eight (90 minute) session course.This is a joint initiative being conducted by SEBI and NISM. We have done a pilot initiative covering 30 schools and 4000 students. We will soon be launching the program in various parts of the country.

For more information about this program please go through this short presentation:

Download here for the programme.

The Government is tying up with schools and educate children , parents and the Teachers on this issue.



Studies On Pocket Money in India.

A 2011 study by ASSOCHAM on “Current Pocket Money Trends in Urban India” spoke to over 3,000 respondents in the 12-20 years age group in five metros, including Chennai (which was at the bottom of the list in terms of pocket money – the maximum was Rs.5,000). Shockingly, it revealed that children were getting pocket money upwards of Rs.12,000 in India, many times more than the few thousands that children were used to getting just six years ago. Apparently, big budget items that kids were going in for was gadgets (55 per cent), 25 per cent spent money on movies and malls, and about 20 per cent on eating out.

“Food is on top of the list – for all children, irrespective of their socio economic strata. If they have money, they buy food. Unfortunately, most of it is junk food and fizzy drinks,” Dr. Kumarababu explains.

Coupled with a sedentary lifestyle, this leads to obesity and a whole string of metabolic disorders that are best prevented at a young age, doctors say. The next big spending is on gadgets and on video games CDs and DVDs, all of which further encourage a sedentary life.


My suggestion is not to give Pocket Money right from the early childhood and provide children what they need by yourself.

In case you can not avoid this , make sure the child keeps an account and shows it to you daily.

Schools may encourage children to save and set Marks for Saving for A  ‘Pass’/Rank.

Little Girl’s Concern For ‘A Single Father’

In lifestyle on August 30, 2013 at 19:49

Today people marry in haste and divorce …?.

They do not think about the offspring.

How a child would take it never occurs to them in their Hedonistic pursuits.


Dating with kids isn’t easy – unless your kid takes it upon themselves to find you a date.

One little girl decided to do exactly that recently, as the adorable note Redditor moodysimon posted on Wednesday shows.

(huffington post)

Now look at how a child cares for her single Father, which does not seem to occurred to her Mother.

Child' Note about her Single Father.

Child’ Note about her Single Father.

Saw this on my FB feed: “A little girl wearing one rollerblade just stopped me on the footpath to ask ‘do you know any single adults’? I asked her to explain and she replied ‘as in single girls’. I said yes. She then handed me this note and skated off! Any takers?


Grandparents Choose Grandchildren’s Sex

In Behavior, Parenting on July 12, 2013 at 08:21

Mammals Choose Grandchildren's Sex

Ilnar Salakhiev/AP – For a lioness, the safest bet would be to have a girl cub, according to a new study that says mammals have the ability to select the gender of their offspring for the benefit of their species. With sons, a lioness could end up with zero grandcubs or hit the genetic jackpot.

The bond between the Grandparent and Grand children is unique.

While certain naughty behaviour from sons and daughters were frowned upon, are overlooked in the case of Grandparents.

It is well-known that Grandchildren bond better with their Grand parents.

They have more liberty with their grandparents,share their intimate details with them, which the would not share with even their parents.

I have seen that Grandchildren ,in general, share physiological emotional and mental characteristics f Grand parents.

Tamil language calls he Grandchildren as ‘peran’, ‘The one who establishes Grandparents’ name.(பேரன்)

Now it transpires that Mammals choose the Sex of their grand children, a Study reveals!


Mammals appear to have the ability to select the gender of their offspring for the benefit of their species, according to a new study that followed three generations of more than 2,300 animals from the San Diego Zoo.

It is not a conscious choice, but in some way, a female’s biology has the capability to assess her health, the quality of her mate, and her environment to determine which sex to go with, according to study author and Stanford evolutionary biologist Joseph P. Garner.

For a lioness, for example, the safest bet would be to have a girl. Even if her daughter isn’t the strongest or highest-ranking female, she will most likely have at least the average number of cubs.

Sons, on the other hand, are a high-risk but potentially high-reward bet. Most male lions don’t reproduce because they are beat out by the few alpha males that father the vast majority of cubs. With sons, she could end up with zero grandcubs, or hit the genetic jackpot.”

There are also indications in the study as to why the initial Human Society was Matrilinear , the preference for female offspring instead of male.



Why Babies Cry Reasons Medicines

In Health, Parenting on July 3, 2013 at 18:49

Baby Cries GIF

Baby Crying

If a Baby (less than a year),cries incessantly, one is rattled.

We do not know what the reasons are and what to administer.

There are may reasons why a Baby cries for apparently no reason.

They could be because of any of the following factors.

It is Hungry.

Mother can usually differentiate  the cry for food.

Feed the Child.

2.I need to be held.

Cuddle the Baby

3.Feel like crying.

Babies sometimes cry because they want to cry.

Biologically this prevents Acidosis, when the Acid content in the metabolism becomes high.

The Baby cries.

When it cries, Carbon di oxide in the system increases(mouth open) and the balance is restored, the Baby stops crying.

4.Change the  Nappy.

5.Feel extremely hot or cold, React accordingly.

6.Check and feel the tummy.

If the child winces or cries louder, it means it has a tummy problem.

Give the child Colic drops , prescribed by a Doctor and consult a Doctor immediately.


I shall post some Home Remedies for babies.

Some more tips.

Rock-a-bye baby

Babies usually love to be gently rocked. You could:

  • Walk around while rocking her.
  • Sit with her in a rocking chair.
  • If she’s old enough, sit her securely in a baby swing.
  • Take her out for a ride in your car.
  • Take her out for a walk in her pushchair.

Try a massage or a tummy rub

Using massage oils or cream and gently rubbing her back or tummy can help to soothe your baby. It may also make you feel better, as it’s a practical way of reducing your baby’s distress. Ask your health visitor about local baby massage classes.

Try a different feeding position

Some babies cry during or after feeds. If you are breastfeeding, you may find that improving the way your baby latches on helps her to feed calmly without crying.

If she seems to have painful wind during feeds, you could try feeding her in a more upright positionBurp your baby after a feed by holding her against your shoulder. If your baby cries straight after a feed, she may still be hungry.

Let her suck on something

In some newborns, the need to suck is very strong. Sucking at your breast while you are breastfeeding, a clean finger or a dummy can bring great comfort. Comfort sucking can steady a baby’s heart rate, relax her tummy, and help her to settle.

Give her a warm bath

warm bath may soothe your baby and help her to calm down. Check the water temperature before placing her in there. But bear in mind that this may also make her cry more. In time, you will get to know your baby’s likes and dislikes.”



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