“Dogs Are Buddhists

I am always surprised at people talking a lot about Parenting.

I recall an instance when a leading school invited me for a Seminar as Faculty on Parenting organised for Schools and Parents in Chennai, around 2009.

Knowing my views and quirkiness in addressing a meet , I politely declined.

The Correspondent of the Institution where I was  Management Consultant insisted I attend and confirmed me as a participant.

Being a good friend of the Correspondent I attended.

There was a lot of talk and discussions on parenting.

Dog as a Buddhist

When my turn came , I spoke thus,

‘Ladies and Gentlemen,

All of you are assembled here to listen to a talk on Parenting.

Animals, and even lowly Life, beget children and they bring their children up.

They do not attend a seminar.

That’s my talk.

Thank you”

I am always surprised at people trying to study parenting!

 

They leave children to baby sitters and attend seminars on parenting!

Now the story beats even this.

Digs are replacing children in Hong Kong and Singapore.And worse dogs are being declared as Buddhists.

Read On:

In Hong Kong and Singapore, it is not unusual to see couples pushing baby strollers that do not contain a baby, but rather a small dog. Sometimes the puppy prams are not wheeled by the dog owners, but by a Filipino or Indonesian domestic helper who has been hired just to look after the pooch.

This extreme level of anthropomorphic dog pampering  is taking place, not surprisingly, in two cities where sky-high high real estate prices and poor parental benefits force many adults to forego what is increasingly viewed as the luxury of having children. The combination of low fertility and the worryingly high prices of homes large enough to raise actual kids —this modest 776 square foot 3-bed in a Hong Kong suburb popular with middle class families rents at $3864 a month—produces some eye-catching luxury businesses catering to canines.

In Singapore, pet owners can buy sailboat cruises and aromatherapy sessions for their companions, the Daily Telegraph reports. Hong Kong has a luxury dog hotel for animals whose owners—sorry, “parents”— cannot bear the thought of leaving them in a mere kennel. Allegedly designed in consultation with an animal psychologist, it has a beauty spa and a shop selling products with names such as “Ultrasonic Hydro Bath”. (Here is a photo gallery of its primped and coiffed guests.)

And let us not forget about the dogs’ religious and spiritual needs. At a recent pet products exhibition in Hong Kong, guests could have their animals proclaimed as Buddhists in what is known as a “gui yi” (皈依) ceremony. And in 2011, a South African yoga instructor in Hong Kong offered “dog yoga”; in Singapore they call it “doga.”

Singapore’s leaders would much rather have people fulfill their need to nurture by having more babies; the city state is facing a dangerous demographic time-bomb with a fertility rate of 1.2 births per woman. In Hong Kong, the figure is only 1.1.

One main reason: Real estate. Property prices have soared in both cities due to low global interest rates, open economies and high interest from wealthy mainland Chinese buyers. Hong Kong flats are nicknamed “shoebox homes“. And while Singapore offers its poorest citizens fantastic public housing, the government is also fighting a property bubble (paywall) that has put home ownership beyond the reach of much of the middle class. Hong Kong and Singapore policymakers also don’t do much to encourage parenthood by providing generous maternity or paternity leave, like France and Sweden.

http://qz.com/68680/dog-pampering-obsessions-in-singapore-and-hong-kong-foreshadow-a-demographic-time-bomb/

 

 

Parents View Of Children Around The World

This is how the parents around the world describe their children.

There is no entry for India.

What would it be?

I would say ‘Happy,Family oriented,Has values,Informed and reasonably responsible for their age”

How about my readers view?

In general,I have seen parents judging their children harshly forgetting what or how they were of their children’s age!

Parents’ View of Children

 

If you ask American moms, we are raising a nation of baby Einsteins. Here’s what one parent had to say about the intelligence of her 3-year-old, which was apparent to her from the very first moments of her life:

“I have this vivid memory when she was born of them taking her to clean her off … And she was looking all around … She was alert from the very first second … I took her out when she was six weeks old to a shopping mall to have her picture taken — people would stop me and say, “What an alert baby.” One guy stopped me and said, “Lady, you have an intelligent baby there.” … And it was just something about her. She was very engaging and very with the program, very observant. She’s still fabulously observant.”

The biggest difference between American parents and their counterparts in Europe might be that they are far more relaxed about enrichment than we are, according to a study released this week by Sara Harkness and Charles M. Super at the School of Family Studies at the University of Connecticut.

Not only are Americans far more likely to focus on their children’s intelligence and cognitive skills, they are also far less likely to describe them as “happy” or “easy” children to parent.

“The U.S.’s almost obsession with cognitive development in the early years overlooks so much else,” Harkness told Slate.

For part of their research, the authors focused just on parents in the United States and the Netherlands. The differences are stark: American parents emphasized setting aside “special time” with each of their children, while Dutch parents spent a few hours each day together with their kids as an entire family.

American parents said they struggled to manage the sleep schedules of their babies and young children, explaining that they try to entertain or distract them when they wake up in the middle of the night. As one American dad says:

“We both have different strategies. She’ll put him in the walker down here and I generally put him in the playpen and try to keep him somewhat entertained, either by the TV or he loves the stereo.”

Compare this to Dutch parents, who emphasized plenty of rest and regular schedules for their kids (and, by extension, themselves), and somehow end up inducing their offspring to sleep more:

“Many parents stressed the importance of a regular schedule, including a set time for both meals and bed. As one mother of an 18-month-old explained: ‘To bed on time, because they really need rest to grow, and regularity is very important when they are so little. If she gets too little rest, she is very fussy.’ A mother of a 6-month-old commented, ‘We are very strict about going to bed – at 6:30, upstairs.’”

Apparently, it works. The authors noted that the children of Dutch parents were consistently more calm, existing more frequently in a state of “quiet alert,” while American babies were more often “actively alert.”

“The higher state of arousal of the American babies corresponded to differences in their mothers’ behavior: the American mothers touched and talked to their babies more than the Dutch mothers did,” the authors note.

But beyond sleep schedules, Americans also seem preoccupied with their children’s smarts from an extremely young age.

The researchers compiled a list of the attributes that 60 families in six different countries used to describe their children, which you can see at the top of the page.

American parents were the only ones to consistently mention their children’s advanced intellect, while other countries focused on qualities like “happiness,” being “easy” to manage, or the even more zen-like “well-balanced,” in Italy. (Italians also used the word simpatico, a group of characteristics suggesting social and emotional competence).

http://qz.com/74136/charts-how-parents-around-the-world-describe-their-children/

Education, Choosing A Course.

Selecting a Course for Higher Studies is a daunting task.

Choosing a Course.

The Course one selects for Higher Studies determines the Career.

 

It is not practical, at this point of time,to debate and stake one’s Life, by arguing about the System of Education in India being one of producing machines that aim to produce mark oriented Curriculum a against real Education which is Character building and about the teaching of Skills to face Life.

 

Whether one likes it or not the system and society is oriented towards Money.

 

Before one proceeds further, this fact has to be kept in Mind.

 

In India, in general there used to be  time when parents chose the course,I would not say ‘chose’,-but enrolled in a Course available,for their children.

 

Our generation studied what our Father has joined us in , married whom he pointed out and we, at least. I, have no regrets,

 

Now children are better informed and have a clear idea as to what they want to do with their Career and are focused.

 

This post is for them and parents also may have a few points for them to ponder over.

 

Parents must realize and accept that to days children have more information(not knowledge) and it is their future .

 

So one should limit oneself to guiding them and not try setting their Life /Career Agenda for them.

 

It is essential for parents to get to know the latest trends nd advise children from their stand point and at the same time point out the pitfalls .

It is not ethical and fair trying to ram down your aspiration on your child for he is what He or She is.

At best basic values that go to make good one a good Human Beings has to be inculcated, like Honesty,Integrity, Harming none, hard work, perseverance and nerves of steel to face Life’s problems.

Children also must remember that parents are not enemies; they are interested in your welfare and want to ensure that you do not suffer for none can share your failures or the pain associated with it and they must learn to listen to them .

While choosing a Course, which is 10th standard in India where specialization starts,bear in mind couple of facts.

There are always things you want to do ,pursue and like and what is good what that secures your financial security.

Idealism to pursue what one wants to do is fine ,but to achieve that one needs financial security.

Unfortunately, in Life these two normally do not co-exist.

On balance it is safe to choose something which offers you financial security and affords you the luxury of doing what you want to do.

The same principle works for Jobs as well.

How does one choose a Course?

First one has to find out what he /she is best equipped for and where his/ her interests lie.

In jargon , they are called ‘Aptitudes and Attitudes’.

 

We shall examine them in the forth coming posts.

 

This post is about the process of selecting Courses, both in India and abroad and the ways to go about them, including Foreign/Indian Admissions, Fees, Courses, Universities,Financial assistance, Tests to undergo and paper work

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Birth Cleansing Rites Hinduism

Let us look at this in detail.

Death.

As many people from India are settled abroad, leaving their kith and kin including parents(mainly parents, in some case care of Glorified Orphan’s Home called Retirement Homes,by settling monthly Bills), some information for those who are abroad.

If Soothakam(  சூதகம்,that is the Uncleanliness out of Birth in the Family,if theRrites are not performed or the period of Uncleanliness remain unobserved, there is nothing to worry.

 

But if it is Asaucham-மரணத் தீட்டு days of Uncleanliness is to observed for the period equivalent normally prescribed, from the Date of hearing the news of Death

This applies even when a Srardha is due for parents.

 

Uncleanliness Period for Birth.

NamaKarnam Cermony

 

1.If the Birth is from the Father’s side , Sraradha should not be performed,

It can be performed after 11th day.

Ten Days of Uncleanness-whatever be the  child, male or Female.

For-

The Child’s Brothers and Sisters.

For those who are born to other Wives of their father.

Brothers’ Wives.

Father, Paternal,Grand Father,Paternal Uncles,

Paternal Uncle’s sons.

Paternal Grand Father’s Brothers.

Paternal Grand Father’s First Cousins( from his Father’s side) and wives of these

All these are to observe ten Days of Uncleanness.

From The Child’s Mother’s side- Three days Uncleanness.

For The Child’s-

Maternal Grand parents, irrespective of where the delivery took place.

One Day Uncleanness.

Mother’s side.

Mother’s Brothers.

Maternal Uncles,Maternal Cousins of the Mother.- wherever the delivery takes place..

No period of Uncleanness is to be observed after Ten days.

For The Child’s Mother.

30 Days if the Child is Male and 40 Days if Female.

After this period,the Mother has to wear a new Mangalya Sutra,take a Panchakavyand start handling vessels and enter into house hold duties.

Note:

During Asaucha period,only  Snanam (Bath) ans Sandhyavandhana can be performed.

Other duties like Surya namaskaram,Aupaasanam( DailyFire Worship),Brahma Yagnam.Deva Pooja,Dhaana and Prathigraha should be performed after the 13 th Day.

 

Source.

V.Soma Deav Sharma.

Vaidhyanatha Dheekshideeyam’Aasaucha Kaandam.

 

‘Children Space’, Parental Space, Sheer Non Sense

There has been a lot of talk on child rearing now ,which has not been discussed in the past.

 

We have Behavioral Psychologists, Child Psychologists , Student Counselors and the list is long.

 

So are the problems from feeding an infant to Adolescent behavior.

 

I have come across this phrase quite often now.

Children playing in the open, India

 

‘Children‘s Space”

 

For the uninitiated  it means that the child has a world of its own and we, as Adults know nothing about and we need to train ourselves to communicate with them!

 

This applies more to Parents.

 

I do fail to understand.

 

Admitting that the child has a ‘Space, our world is different , we need to ‘get down to their world’ to get to know them, how can we help them grow into the world?

 

By going down to their level, we will be acting and guiding them from their stand point.

 

Right?

 

In that case am I not entering into the adult world, am I not assuming the role of an Adult at least while guiding them?

 

How do I tell them what is Right and Wrong?

 

Do I tell them or not?

 

And how do I tell them?

 

By kissing them as a child would and lisp ‘we should not do it’ and the child will follow?

 

If I have to do it,I have to do it as a parent,.

 

The child is an extension of Me.

 

The Society and the highly qualified Doctors not withstanding, I know my child better and I have a better interest in their welfare.

 

Aside…

 

Many of the Specialists’ Children, I know,  have all the problems, including what they treat  our children for and more than  us idiots’   normal children,  have.

 

In the process, what has happened to my Parental Space?

 

Dealing with Physical Disease one thing, I am not qualified,but emotional and value systems, I have a better interest and motivation.

 

Our patents knew nothing of these . nor did I do any of these.

 

I am alright and so are my children.

 

Before any Specialist jumps the Gun, I am Graduate in Psychology, but I have learnt that it is an evolving attempt to understand the Psyche of Man  and nothing more.

 

Excepting in extreme disorders,the role of a Psychologist is limited to the extent of drugging and suppressing symptoms.

 

Has Psychology defined ‘Intelligence,Personality,Personality Traits, Abnormality?’

 

At best Psychology describes these, at worst non sense.

 

We will not have any problem with the children, if Only,

 

Parents know to stay together in marriage,

 

Do not Drink,

 

Live with elders in the family,

 

Have regular and clean habits,

 

Good values in Life,

 

Do not send children to school at the age of # 3,

 

Force them to do things which are beyond them,

 

Send them to all Courses from Karate to Dancing,

 

Allow them to play in the open and do not lock them up in an apartment,

 

We watch TV and ask them not to watch…..!

 

 

 

 

 

Related articles

• Conscious Parenting Resolutions for the New Year (attachmentparenting.org)
• http://aboutthechildrenblog.com/