I came across an article on this and noticed this discussion in some forums.
Spouse is the Best Friend?
It is often assumed that you can share everything with your friend without any reservation.
Fact is that the one whom you can share without reservations is your best friend and not the other way.
When you share something with some one you should not be apprehensive about the fall out or the consequences of divulging such information.
One has to be wary of the fact that it might change their attitude and behavior towards you.
The one whom you share might have their own agenda.
This is likely to complicate relations with them further because you are not sure whether their advice or opinions are colored and biased in their favor.
In general, it is not practical to share everything with relatives, wife/husband included for the reasons mentioned above.
In the case of a friend it is different for they have no axes to grind nor are they interested in using your information or in some cases,You!
It is often thought one is expected to share everything with those whom they Love.
Unselfish, Altruistic Love is Utopian, not practical.
In any relationship there is always an element of expectation.
Moreover one loves some one for certain qualities and not for all the qualities one possesses.
Therefore ,their perceptions need not concur with others and they never will.
So the question of sharing is fraught with complication with relatives.
But as I said earlier it is not so with friends.
The problem is that such friends are rare to come by.
I am fortunate to have such a friend(read my post on Friendship)
Coming to the issue of sharing with Spouse,it is very dicey and often leads to complications.
This does not mean you do not love.
The conception that Love is complete only when you share, in my opinion, is childish.
Love is about caring, that’s all.
This requires a more healthy and mature Attitude than sharing.
Yet the question of sharing between Man and Woman always, though unspoken, has sexual implications.
Platonic Love is for Plato_Did he have a happy married Life?
Some references and discussions.
*There are exceptions,
For most people, their spouse is the person they see the most on any given day. From the moment they wake up in the morning to the moment they go to sleep at night, it’s their spouse who hears all of their thoughts and ideas, who listens to their observations on the day, and who does it all over again the next. But does that make their spouse their best friend?
The other night over dinner, this question came up with some girlfriends of mine. They are lucky enough to have the lifelong friends some of us can only dream about. Friends who have known them since they were 4, nursed them through high school breakups and junior high drama. Friends who know their family dynamics better than their cousins and stood beside them at their wedding, tearing up and smiling for the camera.
So who is our “best friend”? For me, it’s my husband. Hands down. I have other people I adore and feel close to, but no one knows my innermost everything like my husband. Then again, I am lucky in that I have known him since I was 10 and he DID know my family … So maybe it’s different if you meet in your late 20s or 30s.
We asked around and polled 14 women to ask their opinions and got a varied amount of amazing responses. Here are some:
1.) “When asked who my BFF is, I never think to respond my husband, but if I think about what one means, then yes, he is. That said, he’s NOT my favorite person to do everything with, and there are some things I’d rather do/issues I’d rather discuss with my BFF than him.”
2.) “No one knows me like the friend I grew up with. She was my neighbor, she knew my parents when they were alive and she knew them well. I love my husband, but no one could ever know me like her.”
3.) “I’m closer with him than anyone, feel most comfortable around him, have so much fun with him, and know I can count on him more than anyone else. However, that said, there are some things he just doesn’t get that my girl ‘best friend’ does — especially when it comes to being a mom and how much we put into it!”
4.) “My husband is my best friend. As for why — he’s funny, he’s good company, he likes many of the same things I do, and he’s been my partner through thick and thin for over 13 years.”
5.) “Yes, he is. We went into this as best friends, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I have other best friends, but he’s number one.”
6.) “Without a doubt, my husband is my best friend. Still, I’m proud to have several other friends that are very close behind. But we don’t have sex so …?”
7.) “I have a best friend that isn’t my husband. Obviously, my husband and I know each other like only we could know. We support one another emotionally, we have great conversations and so much fun together. We are raising kids and sharing a house together and I couldn’t imagine doing it with another human being, but my best friend is someone who I have known forever, we have shared more with each other than any other. Both experiences and secrets. We have shared hilarious times, sad times, great times, and horrendous times together and I honestly would not be where I am today without her love, advice, and guidance.”
8.) “My husband and I are probably totally co-dependent in that we do everything together (even grocery shop). He is my foil, the shoulder I can lean on when I am down, and the person who has my back all the time. Sometimes I feel bad for not having that one woman who is my soul sister BFF, but then I think about my marriage and how LUCKY we are. I am so thankful that I have this man I want to talk to all night and rip off his clothes at the same time. Even after a decade of marriage. So yeah, he’s my best friend with a million benefits, to boot.”
I think declaring that your husband is your best friend is very trendy these days. With that said, I am sure many of you consider your husband to be your best friend. However when I married 43 years ago I loved and still love my husband dearly. However, he is NOT my best friend. Why ? Because who do you talk to when your husband pisses you off ? Not him….its your best friend, who in my case happens to be a girl who understands me so much better than my husband.