ramanan50

Posts Tagged ‘lifestyle’

Parents Complaints To Children

In lifestyle on October 20, 2014 at 09:54

There comes a stage when the parents start complaining to their children about each other, instead of children complaining about siblings.

 

Either the wife or the husband complains to the daughter or son.

 

This happens when the parents cross fifty and children start earning or get married,whether the son stays with the parents or not.

 

 

Recently I had a call on this from a son, settled abroad,on this.

 

He was worried about this.

 

Each of the parents have complained about the other.

 

The Boy wanted to solve the issue

 

The Boy is over 35 and the parents in their sixties.

 

He told me he wanted to talk to them separately and set the things right.

 

He sought my advise.

 

My answer was to do nothing of the sort.

 

Any marital relationship is bound have disagreements.

 

One is dissatisfied with the other.

 

Matured ones know to leave the disagreements and proceed as if nothing has happened, provided the grouse is not about genuine harassment or involving adultery.

 

But as one grows old,th children grown up, the parents seek solace in their children.

 

They do not wish to let  their affairs known to outside the family.

 

They need an out let to share their feelings.

 

That’s all and nothing more even though they may not admit it.

 

Talking to grown up children who are understanding enough reduces tension and gives a feeling that there is someone who listens to problems sympathetically and consoles.

 

What the children need to do is to  listen to the issue or complaints as one would to a close friend and emphasize with them, with out making an adverse comment about the other parent.

 

Talk to them,console them and assure them that you shall talk to the other party and resolve.

 

But do not talk to the other party on this.

 

This approach, I have seen, has helped a lot of people.

 

These things shall pass in Life.

 

Most of the complications in Life arise out of the mistaken notion that all problems can be solved by active participation.

 

And undue importance given to regular natural incidents.

 

One should be mature enough to understand what a serious problem is.

 

Some of these quick fixes for imagined problems arise out of blindly following western thought s about solving problems.

 

In most cases the cure turns out worse than the disease.

 

 

Hinduism Toilet Rules And Rituals Manusmriti

In Hinduism on October 20, 2014 at 07:29

The Mansusmriti,Hinduism, one of the Books on Code of Conduct covers a wide range of subjects, from Naminf the individual to even Toilet practices.

 

Toilet Rules, Manusmriti.

 

 

A Brahmana who desires energy must not look at a woman who applies collyrium to her eyes, has anointed or uncovered herself or brings forth a child.

Let him not eat, dressed with one garment only; let him not bathe naked; let him not void urine on a road, on ashes, or in a cow-pen.

Nor on ploughed land, in water, on an altar of bricks, on a mountain, on the ruins of a temple, nor ever on an ant-hill.

Nor in holes inhabited by living creatures, nor while he walks or stands, nor on reaching the bank of a river, nor on the top of a mountain.

Let him never void faeces or urine, facing the wind, or a fire, or looking towards a Brahmana, the sun, water, or cows.

He may ease himself, having covered the ground with sticks, clods, leaves, grass, and the like, restraining his speech, keeping himself pure, wrapping up his body, and covering his head.

Let him void faeces and urine, in the daytime turning to the north, at night turning towards the south, during the two twilights in the same position as by day.

In the shade or in darkness a Brahmana may, both by day and night, do it, assuming any position he pleases; likewise when his life is in danger.

The intellect of a man who voids urine against a fire, the sun, the moon, in water, against a Brahmana, a cow, or the wind, perishes.

Let him not blow a fire with his mouth; let him not look at a naked woman; let him not throw any impure substance into the fire, and let him not warm his feet at it.

Let him not place fire under a bed or the like; nor step over it, nor place it when he sleeps at the foot-end of his bed; let him not torment living creatures.

Let him not eat, nor travel, nor sleep during the twilight; let him not scratch the ground; let him not take off his garland.

Let him not throw urine or faeces into the water, nor saliva, nor clothes defiled by impure substances, nor any other impurity, nor blood, nor poisonous things.

Manusmṛti Chapter 4, verses 44-56

 

Far from his dwelling let him remove urine and ordure, far let him remove the water used for washing his feet, and far the remnants of food and the water from his bath.

Early in the morning only let him void faeces, decorate his body, bathe, clean his teeth, apply collyrium to his eyes, and worship the gods.

Manusmṛti Chapter 4, verses 151-152.

 

All those cavities of the body which lie above the navel are pure, but those which are below the navel are impure, as well as excretions that fall from the body.

Flies, drops of water, a shadow, a cow, a horse, the rays of the sun, dust, earth, the wind, and fire one must know to be pure to the touch.

In order to clean the organs by which urine and faeces are ejected, earth and water must be used, as they may be required, likewise in removing the remaining ones among twelve impurities of the body.

Oily exudation, semen, blood, the fatty substance of the brain, urine, faeces, the mucus of the nose, ear-wax, phlegm, tears, the rheum of the eyes, and sweat are the twelve impurities of human bodies.

He who desires to be pure must clean the penis by one application of earth and then water, the anus by applying earth and then water three times, the left hand alone by applying it ten times, and both hands by applying it seven times.

Such is the purification ordained for householders; it shall be double for students, treble for hermits, but quadruple for ascetics.

When he has voided urine or faeces, let him, after sipping water, sprinkle the cavities, likewise when he is going to recite the Veda, and always before he takes food.

Manusmṛti Chapter 4, verses 132-138

Where Are These Muslims?

In human interest on September 26, 2014 at 17:50

My father worked in Bodinayakkanur, Tamil Nadu,as a Teacher before he settled down in Srivilliputhur.

 

He served as a Teacher for 35 years.

 

He had a student, Habib, who was a Devout Muslim at Bodinayakkanur.

 

After quite a few years he received a message from Habib that he had become a DEO, District Educational Officer and he would be visiting the school where my father was working,Srivilliputhur.

 

DEOs visit schools to inspect them and as such,schools, especially aided schools are very vigilant and accord all respects to the DEO when he is on Inspection tour.

 

He had informed my mother, not my father, through a messenger , that it had been long since he ate my mother’s food, he would like Ragi Dosa every night and he would be sending a boy to pick it up daily during his stay at the Traveler’s Bungalow.

 

After completing the inspection, he sat with the Headmaster of the school , informed him that he was satisfied with his inspection and he would be leaving.

 

The Headmaster who knew the relationship of the DEO with my father asked hm whether he had visited my Fathers Class.

 

He is reported to have replied that he could not visit his teachers class and he(Habib) was  an example of what a Teacher could do a poor student.

 

Till his untimely demise, he used to come to our Home at least once a year and pay  his respect to my father!

 

I was in Bangalore with three of my friend and we were staying together for about six years.

 

I had/have a friend Syed Siddique.

 

He might even forget the dates of Ramzan and Bakrid, but very sure about Amavasya!

 

He was very much attached to my parents.

 

He used to go to my mother in kitchen and demand food/special dishes and she would oblige him.

 

My father had a stroke and was admitted to a Hospital.

 

Siddique came till the Hospital and refused to come inside the room saying he could not bear the sight of my father lying sick.

 

My father expired the next day.

 

Siddique was nowhere to be found.

 

While we were preparing the body for funeral.

 

He came, inebriated, crying , demanding that he be allowed to carry my father’s body to the cremation ground.

 

The priests objected to this, him being a Muslim.

 

My eldest brother said that Siddique was more attached to our father than us and my father reciprocated that.

 

Siddique carried the body.

 

He vowed that he would not eat non vegetarian food and sop drinking till the thirteenth day ceremony and he stuck to it,

 

When I lost my first wife he was one of the few who was by  side leaving his family commitments and consoled me.

 

Even after 40 years, I can not forget his affection .

 

I am still searching for him for we went our ways because of our profession.

 

He is a native of Chozhachakkaranallur,near Myiladuthurai, en route to Vaitheeswara Koil.

 

I have tried to locate him, in vain.

 

If some one, his children, grand children happen to read this remind ‘Swamigal’, that’s how I used to call him because of his knowledge of Hinduism, or Vellai Iyer is searching for him.

 

Now where are all these Muslims Gone?

 

Are we missing them or they are not showing up?

Decisions Are They Rational Emotional

In lifestyle on September 9, 2014 at 18:05

With so much talk about Decision Making and specialists (?) who advise and conduct seminars , I though about this a bit.

 

 

An infant looks to its Mother for any support.

 

Infants just follow you right from stepping aside to walking, eating.

 

It decides to follow some of your mannerism(those with whom it spends most of its time).

 

Till some time.

 

One falls in Love.

 

And one does not like somebody.

 

One likes some things in Life, be it food or dress.

 

We take decisions , in these cases without knowing the reasons.

 

Most of the time in Life we react, are not proactive.

 

We become proactive when we are not personally involved.

 

When there are multiple choices available for a problem, most of the time, we are aware of only some alternatives, not all of them.

 

That is why the persons who speak about decision-making state carefully  one should take decisions with the available data.

 

The fact that the choice themselves are limited ensures that the decisions you  take are not totally free.

 

Please read my post ‘Choice’

 

There is this aspect of gut instinct.

 

Decision based on this normally does not disappoint you.

 

How and Why?

 

I have noticed decision-making in personal lives.

 

You like to buy a car, love a girl or Boy,want to go abroad.

 

 

In the last one,here is some deliberation.

 

In all others, you have already decided to your course of action.

 

But you want to justify it , to others as much as to yourself.

 

Reasoning, to me seems to be, an explanation not the Cause.

 

Lord Krishna explains this Gunathraya Vibhagayoga in Bhagavad Gita Chapter 14.

 

On hind sight I wish I could have taken them.

The cost?

I do not know.

But what forced me to choose one in place of another, may be circumstances, but still?

I had chosen what I thought I liked.

In retrospect, I find it could have been otherwise.

May be after couple of years  or even a days later I might find my present choice mentioned here are incorrect!”

http://ramanan50.wordpress.com/2013/07/10/choices-and-life/

 

We Express Better Than We Know Why

In lifestyle on September 9, 2014 at 13:56

Recently my close friend told me of some of his observations on what they speak about subjects, at time, in detail to the astonishment of others, including the Speaker.

 

He added further.

Kannadasan

Kannadasan (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

“Couple if years back some one asked me a question on Hinduism, especially about Advaita.

 

You know that I do not know much about it.

 

But I spoke for about twenty minutes in detail and every one was surprised.

 

Funny thing is I was astonished myself.

 

Even to-day I do not know how I spoke.

 

Today I can not speak a ew lines about my self.

 

How and why?

 

Coming to the present, on some mornings (around 5am), when I do not get sleep , I get a lot of ideas which I am sure are quite novel and I am sure I do not know the subject nor have I read anything on the subject before.

 

Can you tell me why?”

 

He is not a very pious a man but has religious orientation like most of us.

 

I had given a serious thought about this.

 

I have seen these instances in many people including me.

 

Many times I have spoken on subjects in detail with authentic references  though I had not prepared on the subject.

 

I have also noticed , when I lecture on a subject, I normally prepare thoroughly.

 

But when I reach the Podium, i deviate from the prepared points(which I keep in mind, never in on paper as this distracts me), I speak fluently better than I had prepared.

 

Come to think of it, great compositions happen this way.

 

( I am not comparing myself with any of these)

 

Greatest lines in literature (in my view).

 

Age can not wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety,

 

Other women cloy the appetites they feed,

 

She makes most hungry where she most satisfies’  Shakespeare in Antony and Cleopatra.

 

Or Kalidasa in Kumara Sambhavam.

 

Vagarthadaiva samprktau vagarthaa pratipattaye
Jagatah pitarau vande Parvati Parameshwehvarau

” In order to achieve the comprehension of word and meaning, I salute
the parents of the universe, Parvati AND Parameshwara, who are
inseperable like word and its meaning.

 

Or Abhirami Bhattar in Abhirami Andhadi.

 

அன்றே தடுத்து என்னை ஆண்டுகொண்டாய், கொண்டது அல்ல என்கை
நன்றே உனக்கு? இனி நான் என் செயினும் நடுக்கடலுள்
சென்றே விழினும், கரையேற்றுகை நின் திருவுளமோ.-
ஒன்றே, பல உருவே, அருவே, என் உமையவளே.

 

Gist of this is that, Abhirami,whatever I do and whatever might happen to me, even if I am stranded in the midst of Ocean, It is your job to save me”

 

This can be enjoyed only in the original.

 

Or some of the lines of Kannadasan in Tamil Films.

 

Kannukku Kulam Ethu,

 

Kangal Enge,

 

Ponal Pogattum Poda,

 

Mayakkama Kalakkama.

 

I  can go on adding to the list.

 

I shall post on the Poems I have enjoyed in Tamil and Sanskrit.

 

When I asked Poet Kannadasan  whether  he can produce some of the great lines he had penned again, he  replied No.

 

He said he wrote as the mood set in and he can not even remember how he got around to producing these lines .

 

True,

 

Psychologists  try to explain these things in a lot of ways.

 

I had qualified in Psychology and the explanations and theories are labored and unconvincing.

 

To me it seems that certain things are expected to be expressed at a certain time by certain people.

 

And we happen to be the instruments.

 

My friend agrees.

 

Do you?

Image Credit.

 

 http://manifestedharmony.com

 

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