ramanan50

Posts Tagged ‘Family’

Choose Brahmin Mates Swayamvara At Chennai

In consumer forum on April 23, 2014 at 11:01

I have lamented the fact that the Brahmin Community is finding it difficult to find suitable Mates .

 

This problem has become more pronounced now because of various factors.

 

1.Girl’s parents delaying the marriage.

 

2.Girls and Boys having imaginary Ideal Girl/Boy and waiting for a Wave length.

 

3.As the custom of circulating the Horoscope  is getting diminished because of shrinking Families and same community friends, the choice becomes

restricted to  only Internet, Matrimonial sites.

 

Though these are effective, the communication conveyed through these sites by the uploaders  do not receive possible Brides/Grooms.

 

And in most of these sites, the educational and salary expectations are so high and unrealistic, one wonders how people with less qualification/Income get married at all.

 

In the case of Boy’s parents willing to marry a Girl from of a Family of not affluent means, the girl’s parents suspect that there is some thing wrong with the boy,because of , in their perception,unequal alliance.

 

And in may a case, the communication between the parents of the Boys and Girls do not proceed smoothly as person to person communication is much better than Email/Video Chats.

 

I found the following information in Facebook and am sharing it.

 

Marriage proposals at Chennai.

Swayamvara, Chennai

 

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Baby Care Mother Care Online

In consumer forum on March 13, 2014 at 11:17

I remember running from pillar to post to buy a Breast Pump when my daughter delivered a Baby.

I had to run around a couple of Stores before getting Confused.

Finally I got the contact from Just Dial to complete the purchase.

Baby are and Mother Online products.

For Baby and the Mother Products Online

In Online purchasing I did not have one Central point where I could get offers and make a comparison.

Starting from Pregnancy, now a days, when people go in for  Health Care products, they are at a loss.

I do not remember any product being bought by parents as a Child, let alone while I was a Baby.

For my children, my purchase was restricted to buying Amulspray Milk Powder, that’s all.

I never knew what a Diaper was till my Grand son came along.

Now as my Grand daughter is One year old, I seem to be finding a lot of things I never heard of.

Babyswipes, Changing mats,Grooming products,Bathing accessories.

For mothers, Pregnancy products,Breast feeding,Pregnancy Clothes,Books on Pregnancy, Baby Care

Then you have Nursery accessories for the Child, Books, Drawing Books, Stationary ..

One needs a lot of time to understand these products , at least for me!

To search for these?

Sometimes I wonder how I have grown without all these and I remain healthy even now.

However, this plethora of products have become necessary in world of competition and consumerism.

People are engaged in full-time occupations, both Husband and wife,for economic security.

They do not have the time and patience to sit through the Baby care.

One touch solution is needed.

So when Human presence in the form of elders are missing, for some reason or another, it is natural one goes for Consumerism, to ease the style of Living.

So one can not fault people going in for these products, though appear to be unnecessary are in fact essential, given the circumstances.

We do have Online sites for buying these products and there are some which offer you a comparison of products and offers.

One such site Online is babyoye.com

Here I found a complete range of Products relating to Pregnancy, pre-delivery and Post delivery.

Babyswipes, Diapers, Disposable,

Books for mothers, Children products, Toys,

Everything one needs for the Mother and the Baby.

You just log in the site and order.

There are no hidden charges, every thing included in the quoted Price.

How does one pay?

One can pay through Credit, Debit Cards,Online Credit,Gift Cards, Internet Banking or Pay Cash On Delivery.

Products are shipped through Popular Couriers .

If it is an Incorrect product, replacement is effected.

There are exceptions .

The order can also be Canceled .

Top Brands are available.

And one gets offers , Sale as well.

Online shopping reliable, swift and seems to be trustworthy.

You may try this.

 http://www.babyoye.com/

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Elder Abuse By Children Facebook Discussion.

In Parenting on February 4, 2014 at 17:25

Recently I shared a few of my posts on Elderly abuse by their children to Facebook Communities of which I am a member.

This is the Post.

Senior citizen abuse.

Children Leave parents at Old Age Homes

https://ramanan50.wordpress.com/2013/10/02/parents-in-elderly-home-children-to-be-shamed/

I was happy and sad at the same time .

Happy because the post generated a lot of discussion with members speaking out with out inhibition.

Sad because it revealed to me the malaise that is eating our Society.

Though the views of the communities need not reflect the views of all the other Communities in general, this particular community views are taken as a model for others despite their bashing this Community.

During the course of the discussions I came across views, which I will sum up as it would be unethical to post them direct here.

1.All agree that there is this problem of leaving the elderly in Old Age Homes

.2.The elderly also prefer it.

3.This, from the trend and profiles I could gleam, seems to be from NRI .( parents of NRIs and the parents themselves)

4.It is my impression that there seems to be communication disconnect between the Parents and the Children.

5.Children do want to keep them at Home.

6.Sad was a comment the children is ‘an Insurance for parents’ posted by a Parent.

7.Equally appalling was a comment that “Parents are incorrigible and make the Life of Children Hell”

I have posted my views in the group discussion.

Then there was a question of Duty of Sons (No body spoke about daughters!)

The point is that where was this problem, say 40 years ago?

Agreed that we had differences at Homes with parents with us, we never thought that ‘they were living with us’ rather’ we were living in a Home’

Tiffs are always sorted out,

Then why so now?

1.People have gone after monetary values alone.

Parents want their sons to go abroad , especially the US for Higher Studies and Jobs.

When they get a Green Card, the parents feel that they own the world.

Forgetting that the values and the standard of Living shall make sure that they do not return.

If you have sent your child abroad you should be prepared for it.

Alternately, you should stay with them there.

If you a can not stay because you  want to come to your Native place,  then you have no other  option but to stay here alone or in an Old Age Home.

You can not blame the children for it.

Not that you need not send your children abroad, but only that you should have the maturity to handle the consequences.

2.Interfering in Grown up children’s day-to-day affairs.

Many elderly do resort to this as a sign of showing their control of the Household.

It produces the opposite reaction.

You have run the family for nearly 30 t0 40 years and you have taught , or you thought you had taught your children to face Life,.

Why not leave them be?

What could they do?

They might make mistakes. like you and I ( should this be ‘Me’) have made when we were young, or for that matter even now.

Why not admit that the younger generation may be, in fact, is more intelligent in handling practical Life than we did?

Let them run the family the way they want.

If you have brought them up well and proper they would have the basic Morals alright.

That would do.

Not the silly expectation of them coming to you and submitting their account and informing you where they are gong and what they are doing.

We have run our Race,

Let the Relay race run.If you run along  the relay runner, you Team, The Family, will lose.

Elders need to handle this with maturity.

2.For Children.

Parents are not your enemies.

They say and do hings for you, they may not know to how to go about saying or doing it.

Do not suspect their Love or their concern for you.

They are not Incorrigible.

These incorrigible idiots made you into what you are to-day, even enabling you to speak this way.

The value of parents will be known when they are no more.

Only Parents love you for what You are.-with all your warts.

Others for What You have.

PS.I have not touched the actual Physical and mental abuse of Parents here.

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South Marrying a North Indian Girl

In lifestyle on January 28, 2014 at 15:48

I have remarked elsewhere in my posts about some of my relatives getting married to North Indian Girls.

This post is about how compatibles the families were and after before the marriage .

North marries South

Tying Managl Sutra Thaali, South Marraige

A look into the actual apprehensions , misapprehensions as well.

One boy got married to a Kashmiri Girl and another a Punjabi.

Lest people may think I am generalizing about all the communities, Let me say that both the girls were Brahmins.

Different perspective may be required for opinions on marrying a North Indian and from another community.

Under this category , I have a cousin of mine who got married to a girl from Bengal from another community and the marriage is not what it should be.

However in the present cases there were identical initial objections that normally come in the case of Love marriages that arise even while marrying within the Community.

Wedding North Indian Style

North Indian Wedding

“We do not know the family

“We do not know their background”

In the case of marrying to a North Indian the major objection from South Indians  is that North Indian Brahmin Culture is different, they are too easy going to adapt to South Indian family vales, they spend too much, and they take unnecessary risks in Life and career.

All the problems were present in the marriages I have mentioned.

And another observation from the South is that the Girl’s side may not agree to South Indian Style of marriage and this the South considers as a sacrilege.

Whatever be the divide between the North and the South , they are united in this objection!

( Let me add, many will consider me as a heretic, that by looking at some of the South Indian marriages being conducted, I feel that it is better to have a registered marriage, for to such level  marriage as  religious ceremony has descended to with everything being done at the convenience of the people and for Pomp)

The major difference between the North and South Indian marriages are the performance of Marriage in the evening and the non use of Thaali in many North Indian marriages.

The North Indian marriage has Kanyadhaan, Panigrahan and Sapthapathi.

Technically this is the correct Vedic marriage procedure.

Thaali is a concept taken by Aapasthamba, while composing the Aapasthamba Sutra for people living south of the Vindhyas.

Please read my post on this.

So the objection on these grounds seem to be trivial.

Another difficulty faced by the Boys’ parents is that they are used to demanding money from the Bride’s side during the Marriage while in the North Indian marriages(at least in Punjabi and Kashmiri at least) the Boys’ parents are made to shell out for the bride in the form of  more jewellery and gifts to her relatives.

But once these initial hiccups are over, the parents of both he children have become very close and each tries to accommodate the other!

The level of looking after the guests is some thing seen to be believed.

And , irrespective of family misunderstandings, (which family does not have), the relatives rally around and take a personal interest, not delegating things to Agencies, even though they have arranged things through the Agencies.

And I have found the girls, though they are  very well employed and hail from well to do families, to be very respectful, easy-going and at ease  with the new-found relatives.

Though I am not related to these boys closely they often call me up for no specific reason but to chat and enquire about my family and they in general are good.

But this depends on how one interacts with them.

If you keep to your own without interfering into their affairs, which we have no business to, and offer advice when sought for, every thing is fine.

Other wise, things might go awry as with modern girls

.Considering  some case of married South Indian Girls, the North seems to better.

Do not take cudgels for this view as this is my experience and my conviction is that a North Indian Girl would do nicely for a South Indian Boy.

The other sides, that of the North Indian Girl’s point of view and the experience of a South Indian Girl marrying to a North Indian Boy, I do not know.

* The Couples seem to be happy.

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The Courtyard Of Moon

In Parenting, Tamils on January 23, 2014 at 10:40

 

Moon is used in world literature as an allusion,allegory simile to express various emotions.

Courtyard of Moon.

Moon Shining Courtyard of Moon.

The practice of using the concept Moon as a part of Life goes to the Tamils.

There is no Poet who has not sung about Moon right from the Classical  Age of the Sangam till the present day.

It is also the part of Indian life to show Moon and feed the child.

Usually a song is sung inviting The Moon to play with the child.

This has been such an expected custom that a special grammar has been created to accommodate this activity.

In Pillai Thamizh, The Tamil of The child, various stages of the child’s growth has been explained and suitable songs were sung.

Those who know Tamil, enjoy this song, Thiuvoimozhi of Periyazhvar sung in praise of Lord Krishna asking Him to sleep while making Him sleep in a Cradle.

The celebration of the Moon is not restricted children.

Moon is used to express Love,Pangs of separation and even pathos.

I am proving some songs towards the close of the Post.

It is the practice, as the child grows up, to have the family sit around in the Pial( a reclining slab at the entrance of the House) have the food made into  a Ball , place in the Palm of the family members.

This is/was widely practiced.

I used it to do this for my children till they were in the Ninth or tenth standard.

The taste and the camaraderie one feels as a Unit is incomparable.

Children eat more than what they usually consume.

Tamils have taken this a step further,

In ancient days, Homes had a special area built, normally in the first floor and the Kings used to build a Floor for this purpose , enjoy the Moon and take food.

This place is called the Courtyard of Moon.’Nila Mutram’.

There is also the practice of eating under the Moon with the family on the Full Moon Day of the Chaitra,Chiththitrai Month , The Full Moon Day of April.

Special festival is celebrated on this day and this is special in Madurai, Chitra Pournami

Such simple pleasures do not cost you nor do they harm children.

We seem to be losing them.

Some Old movie songs on Moon.

 

 

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