Posts Tagged ‘behaviour’

Happiness Success And You

In lifestyle on January 30, 2014 at 08:28

Success and Happiness are two different things.

A child enjoys

Happy Child

Those who are successful need not be happy and the Happy need not be successful.
Success is measured by the others or our conception of what others consider us to be a Success.
We think we are happy with success because we hear people talking about our ‘Success”

But not all say you are successful in an endeavor, profession.

Some deride because of it if not brushing it aside.

One feels Happy when one hears talk about one’s success and becomes depressed when some one ignores it .

And we set ourselves a Goal in Life, in the present days,at success in what is being perceived by the others as Success.

If some group says you are a Success when  you get a five figure Income, own a house, Beautiful wife, become CEO of a Company, Star or a Public personality.

Till some one comes out with another formula.

All these are subject to change as perceptions of people starts changing on things and issues.

There used to be a time in India, that getting B.Com Degree, secure a Bank employment you are a success.

Then came MBA.

Now it is B.E. in Computers and an IT Job.

You were a success if you ha a two-wheeler.

Now a Car!

As values change s is your success target.

And our own definition of Success changes from one point if time to another.

As against t this, Happiness does not require the others.

Look at a toddler.

Its smile of Happiness captivates you, so natural


Because a Child knows to be Happy with itself.

You set it for your self.

Once set, it does not generally change.

Here your happiness does not get affected or change because of the changing perception of you by the others.

You are within You.

You are contented.

Ultimately you are always Alone( not lonely)

You are with you.

Unfortunately we spend the least time with ourselves, never pause to ask what we want to be happy.


Yuu would find that it needs only You and nothing else.

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Why Should I ?

In India, lifestyle on August 1, 2013 at 05:08

Recently I had been to a Mall with my daughter, son in Law and Grand son.

Dancing In Malls.

Dancing In Malls.

(Though there might be a few who may not know what distinguishes a Mall from Good Shops is the price Tag, where the price is something  that beats one’s wildest imagination.Sometime back there was a fad among, who else,IT chaps, a couple of magnets the size of Pebbles, which when tossed about came down sticking together;the price Rs 150,The price of the same item  was Rs Four in City Market, Bangalore!)

There I saw a crowd just inside  the entrance, hooting boisterously.

I peeped in.

There was a Boy and Girl around 25 prancing together to the beat of loud Music, gyrating obnoxiously.

As the tempo of the Music increased, the Boy who was conducting the show, he is called promotional Executive ‘event Executive,was egging the couple to  gyrate faster.

And the crowd consisting of youngsters mainly and few middle-aged women, and Men too, went to raptures.

I asked some one in the crowd.

Don’t you think this is kind of indecent?

He replied,


We are enjoying ourselves, cooling ourselves.

Do you think it is proper to jump up and down in Public with some one whom you have never met that too in front of people whom you do not know?

You are not a  entertainer .

is this not indecent?

Why should people behave in such an unruly fashion?

Sir, you are out of sync.

This is the in thing.

Why should I bother about others or what they feel about me/

I am just enjoying”

End of the conversation.

That’s it.

There are.

Why should I bother about others?

Why should I

Be Honest.


Respect others. especially elders, specifically parents,

Not sleep with any one I like,

Marry one with whom I slept with

Not drink,

Believe in values.

Believe in God,

Live in this wretched county

Should I Pay my hard-earned money as tax?

And these are the people who rushed to the Freedom park in Bangalore to support Anna Hazare when he went on fast against corruption!

This dichotomy and confusion is reflected in the Society, Broken marriages, divorces, drug addiction and suicides.

Most of these people occupy Middle and Senior executive positions, positions of responsibility!

Set Goals Die

In lifestyle on July 9, 2013 at 07:55

There is this fad of setting goals for one’s Life.

Goal Setting.

Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” – See more at: http://thewirelessincome.com/how-to-do-goal-setting-to-have-fun-and-achieve-them#sthash.vrfQGUKq.dpuf

This has gone to such an extent hat parents of children , even about 4, start planning the Career  of their wards, by constantly talking in front of the child, in some cases asking the child to repeat what the parents say about the child’s future and goals.

The Child also repeats without knowing the meaning of  what it says.

This gets implanted in the mind of the child.

This becomes an obsession in the later years and the child grows into an adult without having an option to weigh the options available.

Unfortunately the parents may change the goal they set for their child.

This will not be accepted by the child , it rebels at the Adolescent Age and continues in Adulthood.

As Adults they are forced .especially by the Society to set goals for themselves indirectly.

But it is imposed on them by the Corporate, by dangling Economic benefits Salary, perks.

A corporate has its Agenda, Namely Profit, nothing more.

All this talk of attitudes, behavioral suggestions ,Career optimization.. have a single goal, that of making money for the company.

Lured by the tempting offers, children and parents plan their lives accordingly.

Unfortunately Life is not merely about earning Money.

It has more to it.

Life is multifaceted.

One has to accept things in Life as they come.

One can not wait for one event to end to begin another as is said’ One can never  take a Bath in the Ocean after the waves cease”

Choosing a Career is important, so is marriage,

Sacrificing one for another is a step but one must have the mental maturity to adjust.

Alternately one must know how to balance both the options.

I am coming across stories where youngsters committing suicides for failing in examinations,Failure in Love Life,unable to adjust to marital issues .

Weirdest is a recent case reported in The Times of India dtd 7 July 2013,(page 3, Bangalore edition), where  a girl. 22,is reported to have committed suicide because her parents arranged for her wedding while she wanted to pursue her studies.

If parents and children were to understand Relationships,Behavior and about Careers (for this case),, they would not have resorted to these stupid decisions like ending life.

It is my experience that people tend to discard opinions f the others who are close to them but trust Books.

Goal setting is to be voluntary, not forced, nor induced.

Let the individuals decide;the parents must remain as Just Moderators to guide them without bias.

I recommend reading  some of the books mentioned.

Career Planning By John BarkerJim Kellen.

Regarding Children by A New Respect for Childhood and Families By Herbert AndersonSusan B. W. Johnson

One might get these Books at a good price, through flipkart,Amazon, Bestdeal,.

Follow the Link below.


Breasts Why Men Love Them

In Sex on May 24, 2013 at 07:27

Breasts, one of the erotic zones, along with earlobes, is of intense interest among men.

This has some psychological and biological  reasons.

Apart from Sex drive, men are attracted to Breasts because of the fact that the first experience of a child is sucking the Mother’s breast.

The organism always resort to the first experiences of any drive/instinctive actions/reactions.

Men unconsciously finds solace in this, most of the time Consciously!

One may also note that at times of great stress one resorts to Sleeping in Fetal Position;this is the pose the child assumes when it was in the womb of its mother, where it felt it was safe, an instinctive reaction for survival

Fetal Position.,Sleep

Fetal Position Sleeping in Fetal Position.

Why are Men obsessed with Breasts?

Here is the report.

‘Why do straight men devote so much headspace to those big, bulbous bags of fat drooping from women’s chests? Scientists have never satisfactorily explained men’s curious breast fixation, but now, a neuroscientist has struck upon an explanation that he says “just makes a lot of sense.”

Larry Young, a professor of psychiatry at Emory University who studies the neurological basis of complex social behaviors, thinks human evolution has harnessed an ancient neural circuit that originally evolved to strengthen the mother-infant bond during breast-feeding, and now uses this brain circuitry to strengthen the bond between couples as well. The result? Men, like babies, love breasts.

When a woman’s nipples are stimulated during breast-feeding, the neurochemical oxytocin, otherwise known as the “love drug,” floods her brain, helping to focus her attention and affection on her baby. But research over the past few years has shown that in humans, this circuitry isn’t reserved for exclusive use by infants.’






Less Violent Crimes, Reasons Confusing

In crime on May 17, 2013 at 17:50

BBC Magazine has published an article on the reasons why violent crimes are rare in Iceland.

To sum up,

A Home in Iceland.

A Home in Iceland.

1 .People Identify themselves as Middle or Upper Middle Class.

2.High percentage of Fire arms.(33%)Police Unarmed!

3.No Drugs.

4.Lenient fines for offences.

5.Children are left unattended.

6.Gay,Lesbian Marriages allowed, so is living together arrangements, Loose family Structure

Bit confusing picture emerges.

Are our notions wrong on Crimes?

Or it is easy if you make the offense legal?

I have posted another story on Organised Crime towards the end of the post.

More confusing.


According to the 2011 Global Study on Homicide by the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC), Iceland’s homicide rate between 1999-2009 never went above 1.8 per 100,000 population on any given year.

Homicide count in 2009

  • Brazil 43,909
  • Denmark 47
  • Iceland 1
  • UK 724
  • US 15,241

Source: Global Study on Homicide (UN)

On the other hand, the US had homicide rates between 5.0 and 5.8 per 100,000 population during that same stretch.

After visits with professors, government officials, lawyers, journalists and citizens, the pie-chart breakdown became clear – though admittedly, it is impossible to determine how much each factor contributes.

First – and arguably foremost – there is virtually no difference among upper, middle and lower classes in Iceland. And with that, tension between economic classes is non-existent, a rare occurrence for any country.

Continue reading the main story

“Start Quote

The tycoon’s children go to school with everyone else”

Björgvin SigurðssonSocial Democratic Alliance

A study of the Icelandic class system done by a University of Missouri master’s student found only 1.1% of participants identified themselves as upper class, while 1.5% saw themselves as lower class.

The remaining 97% identified themselves as upper-middle class, lower-middle class, or working class.

On one of three visits to Althing, the Icelandic parliament, I met Bjorgvin Sigurdsson, former chairman of the parliamentary group of the Social Democratic Alliance. In his eyes – as well as those of many Icelanders I spoke with – equality was the biggest reason for the nation’s relative lack of crime.

“Here you can have the tycoon’s children go to school with everyone else,” Sigurdsson says, adding that the country’s social welfare and education systems promoted an egalitarian culture.

Child playing in IcelandBabies are sometimes left unattended in Iceland

Crimes in Iceland – when they occur – usually do not involve firearms, though Icelanders own plenty of guns.

GunPolicy.org estimates there are approximately 90,000 guns in the country – in a country with just over 300,000 people.

The country ranks 15th in the world in terms of legal per capita gun ownership. However, acquiring a gun is not an easy process -steps to gun ownership include a medical examination and a written test.

Police are unarmed, too. The only officers permitted to carry firearms are on a special force called the Viking Squad, and they are seldom called out.

In addition, there are, comparatively speaking, few hard drugs in Iceland.

According to a 2012 UNODC report, use among 15-64-year-olds in Iceland of cocaine was 0.9%, of ecstasy 0.5%, and of amphetamines 0.7%.

There is also a tradition in Iceland of pre-empting crime issues before they arise, or stopping issues at the nascent stages before they can get worse.

Right now, police are cracking down on organised crime while members of the Icelandic parliament, Althingi, are considering laws that will aid in dismantling these networks.

When drugs seemed to be a burgeoning issue in the country, the parliament established a separate drug police and drug court. That was in 1973.

Asgeir Sigurgeirsson holds a firearmMany people from Iceland, such as these marksmen, use firearms – yet gun crime is rare

In the first 10 years of the court, roughly 90% of all cases were settled with a fine.(BBC Magazine)

According to reports in Iceland Review, international crime has started coming to Iceland. Not only are criminals being sent to Iceland in order to break the law, but large scale organisations are setting up branches in the Nordic nation.

Sigridur Bjork Gudjonsdottir, assistant national commissioner of the Icelandic police told Icelandic newspaper Frettabladid that international crime has become a reality in Iceland. “Reports from the investigative department of the Icelandic police confirm that organised crime has taken root in Iceland,” she said.

Reports indicate that criminals are being sent from organisations in East and Central Europe in order to commit crimes in Iceland.(icenews)






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