ramanan50

Archive for the ‘lifestyle’ Category

Decisions Are They Rational Emotional

In lifestyle on September 9, 2014 at 18:05

With so much talk about Decision Making and specialists (?) who advise and conduct seminars , I though about this a bit.

 

 

An infant looks to its Mother for any support.

 

Infants just follow you right from stepping aside to walking, eating.

 

It decides to follow some of your mannerism(those with whom it spends most of its time).

 

Till some time.

 

One falls in Love.

 

And one does not like somebody.

 

One likes some things in Life, be it food or dress.

 

We take decisions , in these cases without knowing the reasons.

 

Most of the time in Life we react, are not proactive.

 

We become proactive when we are not personally involved.

 

When there are multiple choices available for a problem, most of the time, we are aware of only some alternatives, not all of them.

 

That is why the persons who speak about decision-making state carefully  one should take decisions with the available data.

 

The fact that the choice themselves are limited ensures that the decisions you  take are not totally free.

 

Please read my post ‘Choice’

 

There is this aspect of gut instinct.

 

Decision based on this normally does not disappoint you.

 

How and Why?

 

I have noticed decision-making in personal lives.

 

You like to buy a car, love a girl or Boy,want to go abroad.

 

 

In the last one,here is some deliberation.

 

In all others, you have already decided to your course of action.

 

But you want to justify it , to others as much as to yourself.

 

Reasoning, to me seems to be, an explanation not the Cause.

 

Lord Krishna explains this Gunathraya Vibhagayoga in Bhagavad Gita Chapter 14.

 

On hind sight I wish I could have taken them.

The cost?

I do not know.

But what forced me to choose one in place of another, may be circumstances, but still?

I had chosen what I thought I liked.

In retrospect, I find it could have been otherwise.

May be after couple of years  or even a days later I might find my present choice mentioned here are incorrect!”

http://ramanan50.wordpress.com/2013/07/10/choices-and-life/

 

We Express Better Than We Know Why

In lifestyle on September 9, 2014 at 13:56

Recently my close friend told me of some of his observations on what they speak about subjects, at time, in detail to the astonishment of others, including the Speaker.

 

He added further.

Kannadasan

Kannadasan (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

“Couple if years back some one asked me a question on Hinduism, especially about Advaita.

 

You know that I do not know much about it.

 

But I spoke for about twenty minutes in detail and every one was surprised.

 

Funny thing is I was astonished myself.

 

Even to-day I do not know how I spoke.

 

Today I can not speak a ew lines about my self.

 

How and why?

 

Coming to the present, on some mornings (around 5am), when I do not get sleep , I get a lot of ideas which I am sure are quite novel and I am sure I do not know the subject nor have I read anything on the subject before.

 

Can you tell me why?”

 

He is not a very pious a man but has religious orientation like most of us.

 

I had given a serious thought about this.

 

I have seen these instances in many people including me.

 

Many times I have spoken on subjects in detail with authentic references  though I had not prepared on the subject.

 

I have also noticed , when I lecture on a subject, I normally prepare thoroughly.

 

But when I reach the Podium, i deviate from the prepared points(which I keep in mind, never in on paper as this distracts me), I speak fluently better than I had prepared.

 

Come to think of it, great compositions happen this way.

 

( I am not comparing myself with any of these)

 

Greatest lines in literature (in my view).

 

Age can not wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety,

 

Other women cloy the appetites they feed,

 

She makes most hungry where she most satisfies’  Shakespeare in Antony and Cleopatra.

 

Or Kalidasa in Kumara Sambhavam.

 

Vagarthadaiva samprktau vagarthaa pratipattaye
Jagatah pitarau vande Parvati Parameshwehvarau

” In order to achieve the comprehension of word and meaning, I salute
the parents of the universe, Parvati AND Parameshwara, who are
inseperable like word and its meaning.

 

Or Abhirami Bhattar in Abhirami Andhadi.

 

அன்றே தடுத்து என்னை ஆண்டுகொண்டாய், கொண்டது அல்ல என்கை
நன்றே உனக்கு? இனி நான் என் செயினும் நடுக்கடலுள்
சென்றே விழினும், கரையேற்றுகை நின் திருவுளமோ.-
ஒன்றே, பல உருவே, அருவே, என் உமையவளே.

 

Gist of this is that, Abhirami,whatever I do and whatever might happen to me, even if I am stranded in the midst of Ocean, It is your job to save me”

 

This can be enjoyed only in the original.

 

Or some of the lines of Kannadasan in Tamil Films.

 

Kannukku Kulam Ethu,

 

Kangal Enge,

 

Ponal Pogattum Poda,

 

Mayakkama Kalakkama.

 

I  can go on adding to the list.

 

I shall post on the Poems I have enjoyed in Tamil and Sanskrit.

 

When I asked Poet Kannadasan  whether  he can produce some of the great lines he had penned again, he  replied No.

 

He said he wrote as the mood set in and he can not even remember how he got around to producing these lines .

 

True,

 

Psychologists  try to explain these things in a lot of ways.

 

I had qualified in Psychology and the explanations and theories are labored and unconvincing.

 

To me it seems that certain things are expected to be expressed at a certain time by certain people.

 

And we happen to be the instruments.

 

My friend agrees.

 

Do you?

Image Credit.

 

 http://manifestedharmony.com

 

Corporate Employee, Use and Throw.

In lifestyle on September 6, 2014 at 20:27

You start with five-figure salary, in some cases, six figures.

 

You are provided with free lunch vouchers.

 

 

You have subsidized canteen.

 

You get a cab to pick you up near your residence or in some cases from your residence.

 

You get Bonus, stock options.

 

You get free parties at company’s expense.

 

You get medical coverage, your Phone, Mobile Charges are reimbursed/subsidized.

 

You get ow interest housing advance.

 

You are provided with recreation facilities at your work place.

 

Even a Creche!

 

You stand to go abroad.

 

You can work from Home.

 

But,

 

Your working timings are not fixed.

 

Your lifestyle is determined by others.

 

You are on call  24 hours  a Day 365 days a Year.

 

You report to too many people.

 

You are an assembly line worker.

 

You have targets which have no rationale, which are determined only by the Profit the Project earns for the Company.

 

In the guise of Motivational lectures, you are not consulted about what you can and what must be done.

 

You agree to every thing because of only Money.

 

Targets are to be met, period.

 

You are as good as your last deadline.

 

You are kept in ‘bench’, in simple English the Company has no use for you for the present.

 

Neither the company nor you have any idea about your future.

 

You are rewarded, of course, when you deliver,

 

When you fail….

 

Unceremoniously kicked out.

 

No human sentiments even if some is dying.

 

No personal bonding, despite lectures and HRs.

 

Are you a sugarcane to be used fully and thrown out?

 

Are you a use and throw material?

 

PS. the writer was in Senior Management Positions in MNCs, knows what he is talking about.

 

I am pained at the sufferings of the Youngsters.

 

Pity is that they are no even aware they are selling their freedom.

 

Rate of Divorces and Suicides are high in IT.

 

Simple answer touted, ‘Stress’

 

Stressed by what?

 

Think and LIVE.

 

 

 

 

Is This All There Is

In lifestyle on September 2, 2014 at 10:12

People, after a certain age, tend to change.

 

Especially those who have crossed 50, more so after 60.

 

They make it a regimen to go for a Walk religiously every day,start diet restrictions,try to withdraw to themselves and pretend that they are not interested in things which they think belong to Youth.

Surprising!

Life does not happen in compartments.

It is a flow in alignment with the individual’s dispositions.

Because one turns  over in age, does not mean he is to change his likes and dislikes.

You have not been able to do the things you wanted to earlier because of your career, Family commitments.

Now you are free to do what you like and enjoy doing.

And there is no pressure.

Unless,

You have the mistaken impression that decisions taken by your children , in the family, means that you are sidelined,

You feel that you have to be consulted for everything,

You have the arrogance to think you are always right’

Your decision is final.

Remember how many times have  we felt, in the past,that these pressures of running the day-to-day affairs and wished others would share the burden, especially children.

And we train the children towards that end.

Then why this confusion?

Do what you like, without affecting the Family,maintain a detached attachment.

If you feel alright, no need to follow the myth imposed on the aged-be your age,do pooja regularly,go for a walk, restrict your diet….the recommendations are endless.

Do what you like and enjoy Life.

You have only one to Live.

 

LGBT Issues In Hindu Forward Communities

In Hinduism, lifestyle on June 22, 2014 at 08:46

Sometime back I posted an article on the views of Hinduism on LGBT.

 

The post received good response and many with this issue have written to me saying that  th post helped them mentally.

 

Yet members of some communities i Facebook of which I am a member, felt that these issues are in bad taste and some communities have even removed the post.

 

Hinduism is a way of Life.

 

India Corporate Policy for LGBT.Image.jpg.

India Corporate Policy for LGBT.

 

It does not feel shy of addressing real issues of Life.

 

It understands the nature of Humans including their frailties and try to offer solutions.

 

By adopting an Ostrich like attitude, one faces on certain issues,  much more serious issues later that would arise because of this.

 

Problems are to be addressed to and not wished away, thinking that if we do not think about them , it would disappear.

 

There is this attitude of taking no decision, a modern western concept of course,justifying that the problem would solve itself.

 

True, but the solution need not be to our liking and at times may even harmful.

 

I have not taken the trouble of finding statistics of LGBT in India, ,especially Community wise.

 

It is likely to be incorrect as this is a sensitive and too personal an issue to be divulged.

 

Strength in numbers does not diminish the gravity of the problem.

 

About a year back two issues of m friends were referred to me, regarding their family problem, so sensitive the could not discuss with their relatives.

 

Well, you do not discuss sensitive issues with relatives, only with friends who  have no stakes.

 

My friend’s son((34)got married to a girl from an orthodox family.

 

The boy is well settled and the girl was very nice, working in a MNC.

 

The girl was a Lesbian.

 

This, she disclosed to her husband, after a couple of days of marriage to her husband.

 

This she told him that she was had been scared to inform her  parents and she had a girl friend from US.

 

The boy wrestled with this problem and he informed me.

 

Many among the younger generation , boys and girls,open up with me about intimate problems, though , b age , I am like their Father.

 

I took up the issue very gingerly with the girl first and later with the Boy’s parents.

 

It took some time for m friend to come back to normalcy.

 

I informed him, he was very orthodox, that this an accident of Nature and one should ensure that two lives are not ruined.

 

Our Religious texts inform us these problems and suggest we take appropriate action to ensure that no one is affected.

 

He came around.

 

After discussing the issue with the girl’s parents,a Divorce b mutual consent was organised( the reason as disclosed in Camera in the Family Court).

 

The girl went to US to be with her Girl friend in the US.

 

The Boy is  married again, after disclosing the details to  the would be bride and her parents.

 

The Boy’s first wife came from US and corroborated the facts to the would be bride and her parents.

 

The boy is happily married and has a son.

 

A similar case was in respect of Gay.

 

Here the marriage was stopped.

 

Elders should not wish away the problem.

 

It is tricky in Hindu communities, notwithstanding the elopement in many a case.

 

Children still are respectful for their parents and are shy of discussing their intimate problems.

 

It would be prudent , before arranging marriage, boys and girls, talk to them and wherever necessary , get to know their friends and get information very discreetly.

 

This would help a lot of problems that might arise later.

 

This applies to issues concerning Transvestites as well .

 

 

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