ramanan50

Choices And Life

In lifestyle, Love on July 10, 2013 at 12:01

Quote on Life and Choice.

Choice Quote

I studied in a premier college with dual scholarship as I could not afford Higher studies.

I was very active in the Students’ Union and was responsible for three strikes in that premier Institution.

The causes were just, the authorities knew it, though could not admit it openly.

I finished my degree as the first rank holder in the University in major(Philosophy,Psychology and Sociology), only first class in The University in the language(Tamil),and one of the seven second class students who scored in English.

Though the college authorities knew I had created problems, the Chief of the group called me and asked me to continue MA , financial help for boarding, lodging and fees  will be taken care of by them, I could not, because my family circumstances warranted that I take up a job.

Hence I had to refuse the offer despite their assurance that they will provide me with a job in the college as a Lecturer(Mind you the salary was good for the post in those days) because I could not  wait for two more years to earn.

I took up a job, went out of the city, fell in love for over three years with my friend‘s( who was around 48 years) daughter.

As much I wanted to marry her, I did not ask her father.

in my view to marry one;s friend’s daughter was a betrayal of Trust!

I got married and me my friend with my wife.

His daughter along with him extended hospitality.

As we were returning Home, my wife told me that she saw Love in my friend’s daughter’s eyes and asked me what the matter was.

I explained her and she admonished me for not having married her and felt sorry for me too!

(My friend’s daughter , in a fit of anger and desperation to get even with me got married of her own to a non worthy who tortured her and she got a divorce.)

My wife, whom I loved and love still died in child birth.

I went off my mind for a couple of months, got remarried , begotten grand children.

I had choices, at all times,

to opt for higher study and a sinecure job.

to marry the one whom I loved,

to remain unmarried after my beloved wife’s death,

I did not choose any of these options.

On hind sight I wish I could have taken them.

The cost?

I do not know.

But what forced me to choose one in place of another, may be circumstances, but still?

I had chosen what I thought I liked.

In retrospect, I find it could have been otherwise.

May be after couple of years  or even a days later I might find my present choice mentioned here are incorrect!

So a decision is made by one with out his control, though it appears to be voluntary.

Choice is really determined, if you look at it this way.

So decisions are made for me and I am under the illusion that I am choosing them!

True, I feel the pain at all times, I am Human.

But what is Life with out this!

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  1. There are no perfect choices. The horns of a dilemma where within the spectrum of choices there will be remorse at what was not to be….. . But that is one of the wounds that breaks the heart and a broken heart is one that is more vulnerable, surrendered, and open to the Divine.

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  2. I once went to my close friend’s house & his father had displayed three words –forget, neglect & regret — at his bedside, I asked him about this. He explained in detail about the repercussions if we don’t give due importance to these words. In my view once the choice is made it should be the best among the available choice. After that no regret even though choices are relative to times and circumstances. You should never look back in life which is already history. Always be in present & enjoy the moment without worrying about future which is uncertain. Present is always a present from the supreme consciousness.

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  3. Very confusing perspective…you always have options …and you decide unless you let someone else do it for you…so it becomes your choice…

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    • One makes choices.
      On reflection at a later date, one wishes he/she could have made a better available choice.
      That’s what I am trying to convey, this change of perspectives and the uncertainty of the results of the choices we make.
      Yes, this might look a confusing perspective, for Life is not Black and white , but only shades of grey, so are choices and the results thereof.
      Regds,

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      • Perhaps …language barriers…leads to confusion and contradictions in how you wrote it..all the same …blessings

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