During last week I received two phone calls from two of my close friends.
One dates back to 43 years and another 4o years.
First call was around 1.30 am.
“ I am totally depressed and out.
My eldest son ha d set up his own Home.
My second son, had left for US on assignment for one year.
The Home I have been living for the past 60 years is about to be demolished.
Though I had received adequate compensation, I do not like to live in a totally new place.
I want to go to my area where I have a commercial property which I have rented out.
I ha had asked him to vacate after paying him Compensation.
The second call was..
“My daughter got married about five years back , has gone to US with her husband and has not come Home since as she could not get visa.
My son is planning to leave for Higher studies in the US.
My wife is sick and I am depressed”
The common factors in these two instances are.
That of children leaving Homes.
Those who are close to us are sick.
We must address the fact that we acquired these relationships and they were not forced upon us.
We took the responsibility of raising a family.
We teach and expect children to become self-confident, self-reliant and be independent.
In the process somewhere along the line, we became emotionally dependent more than being attached.
We assumed , despite our professed desire of asking children to be self-reliant, we inwardly wanted them to be an emotional cripple and be dependent on us as it gave a sense of importance.
Once they stared being on their own we get disillusioned.
This is not maturity.
One should understand that every individual has his/ her Life to lead and they have their own preferences.
Though they would like to be with us they have to move on with their Lives.
After all , how much Tiie is left for us to continue living?
May be 15 0r 20 years?
Is it fair on our part to demand of them to suit our convenience when they have a full life ahead of them?
The other point is the question of those close to us falling sick.
As we advance in years, we fail to recognize that others who are close to us also age and as one ages, one becomes weak and it is natural that they fall sick.
The possible plan of action is to extend the best Medicare available.
As to choosing a place to live, when would we realize that we have no permanent place here?
As we advance in years let us realize that the time is up and we have to prepare ourselves to leave and stop acquiring things ,physical and emotional.